Teamwork Ficlets
by Asuka Kureru
Summary: Series of random minifics from the Teamwork universe. Main pairing NaruSasuSaku, other pairings, other POVs, might not follow Teamwork canon.
1. sasuke and baby

Teamwork is a Naruto/Sasuke/Sakura threesome fic-universe where Sasuke was brought back to Konoha after the Valley of the End, Naruto is dealing with increased Kyuubi influence, and Sakura is pregnant by... either Naruto or Sasuke, they don't know which. The stories have NaruSasu yaoi and SasuSaku and NaruSaku het interaction.

These ficlets are little scenes that either don't fit in Teamwork 1, 2 or 3's main story, happen in the past or future, or are from a different point of view. (Teamwork's main fics are almost always from Naruto's, Sasuke's or Sakura's point of view.) Topics may include baby musings, original characters, or that weird Temari-Shikamaru-Ino love triangle that I really want to work into the main plot at some point. XD

Don't expect them to be posted in order, and don't expect spoilers (like the baby's gender and real dad) out of them. A few might also be reused in the main fic if I find a way to pull them into the plot at a later date.

**Teamwork : drabbles**

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* * *

__Purple Angel: How about something from the teamwork universe, a little bit in the future with the baby? Like, something cute like manly-but-fatherly!sasuke? _

* * *

**Baby Drabble 1 **

"You should go to sleep at some point, you know."

"... mm-hm."

Naruto sighs. "No one's going to burst in during the night. You're gonna be cranky tomorrow, and then that rich bastard you have to escort will complain that you pushed him too hard."

"Wouldn't hurt him to lose a few dozens of pounds."

"...Sasuke... go to bed. Sakura's gonna be pissy if she wakes up alone."

Sasuke scowls, looking away through the darkened window. "Then go back to her."

"Nah, the furball's too restless."

Sasuke eyes naruto thoughtfully. "You're staying up?"

A long exchange of looks. Wordless communication.

A nod. "... yeah."

He pulls on Sasuke's wrist gently, until the other man lets himself slide off the windowsill. They stand in silence in the darkness of the bedroom, listening to the third breathing.

"Go to bed, Sasuke. I'll stand guard."

On silent feet, Sasuke leaves the room, back straight, not looking back, refusing to acknowledge the offer. Refusing to acknowledge his need to hear that promise.

Smiling, Naruto leans over the crib, tenderly caressing a tiny hand. Inside him, Kyuubi settles down, satisfied.


	2. more baby cuteness

_Rianax: Naruto and the baby- belly  
SasuSakuNaru spring cleaning - messy_

_

* * *

_**Baby Drabble 2 **

She found him in the sun room, of course, sprawled on his back in the middle of the wide sun patch, face turned up toward the skylight, heart to heart with the baby. Naruto's large fingers were gripped tightly by two tiny hands, and he wriggled them around as he told a story that had neither beginning nor end. It was, she decided after a few minutes, about a baby fox and a baby raven and a baby bunny, having various unbearably cute adventures.

It was adorable. It made her want to go aww.

She scowled and put her hands on her hips instead.

"Uzumaki Naruto, if you think you're going to avoid helping us like that..."

He gave her puppy eyes that Kiba would have been jealous of. "But the foxlet couldn't sleep..."

"Right. It's probably time for a meal then." She speared him with a warning glare as she picked up the baby. "Now get up and go help Sasuke. He's not going to do it all on his own."

"... I'm allergic to dust?"

"Naruto, I've been inside your apartment."

He sighed and got on his feet gracefully. "Fine, fine. Later, foxlet."

He nuzzled the baby's soft hair, cooing back, until Sakura pursed her lips.

"I'm going, I'm going. Mommy is so mean, isn't she?"

"You should be ashamed. Giving such a bad example to your child -- don't ever grow up to be like daddy, you," she added in a softened tone, hiding an amused smile as Naruto pretended to fall dead of heart attack.

"So cruel!"

"OI dumbass! Move it!"

Sasuke appeared at the door. His bare chest was streaked with dirt and he wore rubber gloves, and held a mop as if he knew a dozen different ways to kill someone with it. Naruto grimaced at him, putting his hands on the child's ears. The baby giggled, and Naruto spared a brief smile before turning to glare down his opponent again.

"Hey! Don't talk like that around the baby!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and moved the wet mop from hand to hand, secretly enjoying the way Naruto kept it in sight warily. "Moron, it's not as if what I said was going to register."

"Yeah, well, maybe you should start censoring yourself now. Get into the habit, you know."

"And maybe you should start pulling your weight, dead-last, and stop slacking off."

"Hey! I'm not slacking off! I was doing an important job, maybe the most important of all!"

Sasuke and Sakura snorted disbelievingly in perfect unison.

Sasuke hooked Naruto's neck with the broom and pulled him sharply toward the door. "Move your ass, slowpoke. That's still the couch to move back in place."

"And you can wash the windows," Sakura added. "-- though on second thought, maybe Sasuke should do that."

"Hey! I can so wash windows!"

Sasuke eyed him, unconvinced. He arched an eyebrow slowly, deliberately. Naruto fumed.

"Prove it."

The two young men immediately disappeared in the corridor.

Sakura laughed softly as she went to the kitchen, the baby cooing up at her. "Yes, your fathers are so immature, aren't they."

In the distance, she could hear taunts and crashes, and was very glad that they had decided to replace most of the old furniture anyway.


	3. Kakashi and Asuma

_Miko no Da: Okay, how about something short from Kakashi's POV about this new thing with Team 7?  
_

* * *

**Best Wishes**

Asuma lit his cigarette casually and relaxed against the wall. Kakashi didn't look up from his book. Asuma was considerate enough to stay downwind. Besides, he was going to interrupt his reading soon enough; Kakashi didn't feel like stopping any sooner than necessary.

"I hear your kids have shacked up?"

Directly for the kill. Heh. The copy ninja hummed his positive reply, still reading.

There was a long moment of silence as Asuma smoked and Kakashi read. Then Kakashi reached the end of his chapter, and looked up from his book, eye curved in an amused expression.

"You're bad at pumping people for information. Next time, tell Kurenai to come to me directly."

Asuma snorted. "I will. I don't really want to know anyway."

"Afraid your kids will take their cue from mine?"

Asuma chuckled, a brief bark of a laugh. "It would make their fathers happy at least. They've been torn over deciding which of their sons was going to marry Ino."

The two men rolled their eyes together. Ino was going to marry whoever she decided to marry, and Shikamaru would probably find the idea of a threesome too troublesome to contemplate. As for Chouji, he would follow Shikamaru's lead in Hell if need be, but probably not into his bed. Besides, statistically speaking, not all kids could be sexual deviants.

Asuma finished his cigarette, and crushed the butt against the wall.

"Give them my best wishes."

"I will."

Humming quietly to himself, Kakashi opened his book and started reading the next chapter.


	4. baby and iruka and jealousy

**Teamwork : drabbles**

_This is forSailor Seraphimbecause i love her, and yet, like to annoy her. She requested Iruka in the teamwork universe, being cute with the baby and Naruto, but being who I am, i twisted her request around. Muahahahaha._

_Disclaimer: I don't dislike Iruka. Sasuke does, though, for some reason - but i can't tell if he'll still dislike him in Teamwork when I reach the baby-popping stage. I don't know how it will evolve yet._

* * *

**Jealousy**

"That poor child will grow up colorblind."

Iruka chuckles and attempts to smile. Sasuke stares back, not commenting, still holding close the orange-clad baby. There's a little white and red fan on the back of the jumper. Sasuke does not appreciate the attempted joke on the fact that Naruto's favorite color clashes with his clan's emblem. He remembers what he felt when he found that idiot stitching it on.

Though it's a good thing Sakura sews better than Naruto, because the poor child would have been quite uncomfortable in the mess of threads and knots Naruto made. But anyway, the jumper isn't something Sasuke wants to ever joke about.

Iruka smiles again and rubs his head, avoiding his eyes. It reminds Sasuke uncomfortably of the way Naruto himself gestures when he's embarrassed - except when he's acting like a prick, Naruto blows up in his face. He's giving their ex-teacher a hard time because the man's too polite to punch him. He's not even that sensitive in the first place.

"So... can I?"

Iruka reaches out, arms open expectantly. Sasuke refrains from crushing his heel into his throat, and clutches the child tighter - only to feel guilty when he hears a whimper of protest. Frowning, he sits back, and attempts to relax his posture. One of these days he'll manage not to hold his child as if he was going to drop it or break bones if he breathes too deeply; for now he hasn't mastered the trick. It's especially hard when Sakura and Naruto are away, and a man he doesn't know that well wants to steal his child.

It's the baby's discomfort, rather than the mildly pathetic eager and expectant expression on Iruka's face, that prompts him to grudgingly let go.

He watches as the scarred man handles his baby with ease, smiling, playing, holding close-but-not-too-close as if that was the most natural thing in the world, and he tries not to feel jealous.

Naruto's hand lands on the back of his chair, and he tries very hard not to turn and glare resentfully. Moron's late.

The hand slips to his shoulder, and squeezes before letting go. Naruto steals the baby from Iruka, laughing, and whirls around, dropping kisses onto round cheeks. He grins down at his teacher, showing him the little fan in the middle of all that glaring orange.

"Isn't that jumper the coolest thing ever?"

Sasuke leaves the room, because it doesn't matter if he stays anymore; Naruto will defend the honor of their child and their household, and play nice with Iruka, and hold the baby close, gently. All these things he can't do. All these things that don't matter because Naruto is here to do them for him.

Except when he's late, of course. Idiot.


	5. naruto and kyuubi and names

**Teamwork : drabbles**

_Kyuubi and Naruto think about the meanings of names._

* * *

**Names**

Mate was a funny word; a Kyuubi word, that only Naruto chose to use. Kyuubi spat on the idea of human mates, but Naruto couldn't find a better human word for it.

For Naruto, she was Babe, and he was Bastard. When he felt like teasing, she was Pink, and he ... was still Bastard.

When Kyuubi was predominant, she was Slut, he was Bitch. Kyuubi wasn't very polite.

She was also -- sometimes, never almost, when Kyuubi was sated and gorged on red meat and utterly satisfied -- Mother-of-my-Cubs, and he was The-One-Who-Guards-My-Back. But only in secret. Naruto pretended he didn't know. Didn't share the notions. Wife, Partner.

Vassals. Friends. Skulkmates. Teammates. Fucktoys. Lovers.

Different words, not-quite-meeting notions. Different languages, different impressions.

When they were one, though, there was one Kyuu-and-Naru always agreed on. Both were Mine. No misunderstanding, no nuances, no implications. Because it meant exactly everything they meant, and it was one word that didn't suffer from mistranslation.


	6. baby's first babysitter

This time for joisbishmyoga, who requested _Baby's first babysitter.

* * *

_

"I said I'd do it. No need to trouble yourself, Iruka-sensei, I'm sure you get tired easily now, what with all your students demanding so much time -- and don't you have essays to grade tomorrow anyway?"

Falsely concerned tone, parried with falsely grateful voice.

"Thank you for your worry, Ino-kun, but as a matter of fact this week was dedicated to practical tests. And I have lots of experience with children..."

"But babies and pre-teens are probably very different..."

"Not so much, I assure you, but it's nice of you to worry."

Harried sigh.

"Sakura-chan, your mom called, she says to drop the baby at her place before we go, and don't forget a ton of baby stuff I'm not even sure we own in the first place."

Outrage.

"What? You asked your mother already, forehead-girl?"

Eyes rolling.

"No, I didn't actually, I -- ohh, shush, baby, shush..."

Cooing.

"Baby wants auntie Ino, don't you? Oh, yes you do..."

"Ow."

Return of the false politeness.

"No, let go of Iruka-sensei's ponytail, love, you're hurting him..."

"Ahh, if that child wants to come with me, I see no problem, really..."

Heavy sigh, a number being dialed quickly.

"Hinata? It's Naruto. Listen, are you busy tonight? I have something to ask you..."

* * *

Iruka calls Sakura Sakura-kun in canon. As far as I know, that's not because he thinks she's a guy; that's because he acknowledges that she's young and way under him in hierarchy (this not a -san yet), but still not intimately close, like family or lovers would be. It shows respect to her anyway, but not as it would to an equal. So it wouldn't be out of place for a student/teacher relationship. That was today's lesson in fangirl japanese. yay. XD 


	7. baby and kakashi

This time for ashphoenix, who requested Kakashi babysitting. Warning for utter silliness.

Yes, I'm writing more Teamwork2. Only a scene or so and i'll be finished. It took so long because the plot mutated on me again, sorry. x.x

* * *

Kakashi stared at the Demon Spawn.

"You want me to do what?"

The Demon Spawn stared back.

"Keep the baby for the day. We'll be back at five; you just have to make sure nothing happens. There's a bottle of milk here just in case, and here's Mister Carrot."

A pale blue bunny was shoved at him. Kakashi didn't break eye contact with the little pest as he snatched the plushie before it could hit him in the face.

Sakura picked up her child and cooed and petted and whatever it was that girls enamored with their brats did. The brat kept staring over her shoulder. And staring and staring. If it thought he was going to look away first --

Kakashi could feel Sasuke's stare. It was a cold, annoyed stare, and his pupil had progressed a lot since the period where Kakashi could kick his ass and read his book at the same time. He broke eye contact with the Spawn to look at him.

"Nothing will happen," Sasuke said in a monotone.

"Nothing will happen," Kakashi repeated docilely. He hadn't survived that long by being stupid, after all. So far, Sasuke was still more of a danger than his progeny. Of course, this might change the day the little pest learned to walk.

Sakura put her child down, thanked him and left. Sasuke followed. Kakashi looked back at the demon spawn. It grinned up at him, and closed an eye, cute pouty features twisted in an adorable face.

The evil brat was mocking him. Kakashi wondered if its parents were far enough to hear if he attempted anything right now.

* * *

It would be a cold day in hell before the genius Copy Ninja Kakashi let a brat, evil or not, ruin his afternoon. It didn't take more than a few minutes to find a way around that annoyance, and then he proceeded to sprawl under a tree in the closest public park and read. Vol.8 of Icha Icha Paradise had just come out, and he wanted to finish it.

He was just at the scene where Junta and Hiromi realize that they have both cheated on each other with the same girl when the book was torn from his hand by an irate pink-haired fury.

"WHERE. IS. MY. BABY."

Kakashi shrugged and stole his book back. "Wait a sec." He whistled, sharply. A heavy thumping sound was heard, and then the bushes rustled. "Here."

Fifi came to a stop a hand's breath away from Sakura, little stump of a tail waving madly, enormous chops flopping over a cheerfully lolling tongue. On the mastiff's head, Pakkun was desperately trying to hold in place a laughing and squealing infant.

Sakura stared for a few seconds, and then tore her beaming child away with a horrified cry. A strip of cloth stayed in Pakkun's mouth.

"YOU LEFT A TODDLER TO DOGS!"

"They're ninja dogs." Kakashi turned the page. Hiromi hadn't actually cheated on Junta with Ayako, but with her evil twin sister Mayuko, who was planning to blackmail her with the tapes of their lesbian interlude. The plot was thickening.

"IT DOESN'T -- YOU -- ARGH!"

"Hey! We're smart dogs," Pakkun intervened. Sakura glared him into rolling over.

"Kakashi-senseiiii..."

"What? Your brat had fun, nothing happened--"

Tsunade, Kakashi decided as he watched Sakura stomp away, had really done the world a huge disservice by showing her how to use her muscles.

Rubbing his smarting cheek, he crawled out of the hole and started searching the bushes for his book.

* * *

Some of it might not stick with the Teamwork canon (seeing as I still don't know if Sakura will be Tsunade's student or not, and Kakashi isn't really THAT bad around the kid), but I went for funny more than in character. :p 


	8. temari and naruto

For Res judicata, who asked for a discussion between Temari and Naruto about non-village-approved relationships.

SORTA SPOILERS for background stuff for Teamwork, notably one pairing I really want to happen XD I wrote the ficlet at about a year after the birth of the kid, but I might rewrite it later to fit it in the timeline.

* * *

"If there hadn't been the heat, would you have tried to have them anyway?" she asks, sitting in the shade of the gallery, as she watches that group of people she's not letting herself call friends mingle and chat.

Kiba is whispering in Hinata's ear, making her blush and laugh. Chouji is monitoring the barbeque closely, shooing Sakura, the mistress of the house, and Ino away, and they nag at him in tandem. Sasuke is leaning against a tree, and pretends he's not watching over his heir like a hawk. The brat's crawling all over the place, and shrieks and laughs when Konohamaru makes funny faces. Iruka and Asuma are playing chess, pretending not to hear Gai's "helpful" suggestions. Neji, Kurenai and Shikamaru are engaged in a political, or maybe philosophical discussion, and Shino -- who knows, maybe he fell asleep.

Temari's gaze lingers on Shikamaru. He's as loose-jointed, as boneless as ever as he sprawls in the grass. He's smirking. She smirks too, wondering what sort of devastating argument he's preparing in his tortuous brain.

Naruto plops down at her side, legs swinging absently. "Mmh. Dunno. I didn't really think of Sasuke like that back then, and Sakura was clearly crazy for him."

She wonders at his easy friendliness. The only link they really have is her brother. And Shikamaru. "But if something had made you think about him like that?"

He ponders. "I dunno. I'm thinking I could have had him but it would have excluded Sakura. Or I could have dropped it entirely and gone with Hinata instead -- but even back then it didn't feel like a good idea. Would have felt like I was abandoning them."

She hums in reply. She doesn't truly care about the intricacies of the Rookie Nine's teenage crushes, in the end. Most of them she only tolerates because they're always more or less around Shikamaru and they've accepted her in as Shika's girlfriend, or girl who is a friend, or friendly competitor in the ways of the Snark, or whatever it is that they are to each other. She just wants to have a second opinion, from someone who knows about living in a non-village-approved relationships.

"Do they still give you grief?" she wonders, and sounds like she doesn't care -- she doesn't, really, she's just curious. It's data that she needs, that's it.

"Oh, yes," he replies with a wide grin. "Everyday. But there are enough people who don't that it doesn't matter."

As if that's going to erase the days their child comes back home in tears because his family is abnormal, the shops who refuse to deal with them, the dangerous missions they can't take together. "It would have been better to hide it from common knowledge," she replies caustically. Really, flaunting it in people's face, that was provocation.

"Easier, maybe. Better, I dunno. Our kid has two dads and that's it. ...Say, what's Sand's attitude toward single moms?"

She narrows her eyes and stares at him, and his relaxed smile and his innocent blue eyes, and wonders if she's really reading too much in that question -- or if she's reading just exactly what he means. There's no way in hell she will ever play "my baby has two mommies". She's in a triangle, not a threesome.

"Depends if they're civilians or ninjas. Depends if the father was killed before they could marry. In the end, though, it doesn't matter as much as here."

He nods. He's still watching her.

"... I don't want a child anyway. Or a husband. Domestic bliss isn't for me."

He smiles. She feels that finally, she gave him the reply to his actual question -- the permanence of her relationship. Huh. Surprisingly perceptive, for someone who runs around acting like a moron without a grain of common sense.

"Sand and Leaf are allies anyway, and the old hag Tsunade has never refused you assignments here, so you've got as much tacit approval as you're ever going to get."

"Mmh." She turns away. She knows. The lovers-from-rival-villages thing is not the problem. If she can call that a problem.

He waves as his kid, throws the ball back toward Konohamaru. She's expecting him to leave. He doesn't.

"You know, Ino's always been fierce about Sakura."

... Well, apparently Shika isn't the only one here who can totally blindside her.

"What?" she whispers. It's a weak comeback, and she wonders where her years of training in verbal sparring have disappeared to.

"Ino. She's always been more intense about her friendship with Sakura than Sakura herself -- I dunno, there's just something there. Oh, sure, she liked Sasuke too, but I wonder if she went after him like that just so Sakura wouldn't have him more than anything else."

"Why are you--" telling me about Ino, she wants to say, but playing stupid has never been one of her favorite techniques. "How did you reach that conclusion?"

She's not talking about the thing between Ino and Sakura that Naruto's alluding to. She's talking about the meaning underneath the insinuation. She wants to know what betrayed her.

He grins. "Scent. And you like to needle her, but never about that lazy ass. If you two were only competing over him, you'd shove that in his face as often as possible."

She stares at him. "Scent?"

"You smell interested around pretty girls about as much as around hot guys -- by the way, I know Sasuke-bastard's got a sexy ass, but when you think dirty thoughts about him, it makes the furball want to grab him and, y'know, mark his territory, and he'd never forgive me for groping him in public."

Caught. Ah well. She shrugs. "Your boyfriend IS pretty hot. If you get jealous over everyone who lusts after him, you're going to need to decimate a good third of the village's population."

Naruto bursts out laughing. "Heheh. But see, the other girls are all waiting to get wooed. They're no threat at all. Now you... you're kickass and ballsy enough that there's a chance he might notice."

She smirks. Now that's the kind of compliment she likes. "Why, thank you."

"So. You want your boyfriend's girlfriend. Copycat." He grins, teasing. She blinks at him, not sure if she should feel annoyed at the level of intimacy his teasing implies. Naruto and her are not friends. Acquaintances at best.

"Shika's not my boyfriend," she sighs. "We date sometimes, and sometimes we just shoot the breeze together, and sometimes we're not meeting for weeks. Same with Ino -- he won't commit. Seeing as I don't want to commit either, it's just fine for me."

Naruto grimaces. "Not for her?"

"Probably not. We don't have deep heart-to-heart conversations all that often," she replies sarcastically. All conversations she has with the other blonde are either teasing from her and forced politeness from Ino, or screaming rows -- more like skirmishes, because they both know that if it went physical she'd win, and that means Ino never entirely lets loose -- she just yells a bit and then locks herself up again. Temari doesn't like that. She wants to know what will happen if one day the other girl really lets it all out.

All the screaming comes from Ino. She's pretty when she's angry. Temari... well, Temari doesn't get angry; she gets even -- a good reason to keep her calm when the other girl explodes. Besides Ino doesn't know how to hurt her anyway, emotionally. Ino views her as the enemy; she's never really tried to get to know her, find her buttons.

"Mmh. I don't think she hates you. She's jealous cause she's pretty sure in the end he's gonna choose you, but Shika's too lazy to even bother choosing. Besides he has two hot babes for himself, he's never going to want to stop that. Who would, really?" Naruto chuckles.

She rolls her eyes, but can't help but smirk. That's Shika in a nutshell. Lazy, macho prick.

Naruto is nodding wisely, totally serious -- how can he discuss sex with that face, she'll never know. "You know, I think he'd totally help you plot a way to get her, 'cause the only way he could have it better would be to have you two at the same time."

"Already done," she replies, and smirks viciously as Naruto's eyes widen in shock.

"NO -- for real? Fuck, lucky bastard!"

She rolls her eyes. "As if you don't ever have yours together."

"Well, yeah, but Sasuke's a guy! I mean, really -- live lesbian sex, that's like every hot-blooded male's fantasy! Seriously, Temari, you've got to pull that off!"

She feels her lips quiver against her will. "Oh, I'll try my hardest." She will. If what he said about Ino liking Sakura was true, she has a chance -- even if Ino's only confused, that can be enough. She still remembers the way they kissed over Shikamaru's body. She wants that again -- the mindless passion in Ino's eyes, the scratches and the cries of pleasure. She wants it for herself, not for Shikamaru -- though she could share with him, she supposes. So long as they share equally.

Naruto is still daydreaming at her side.

"If you want two girls so much, why don't you teach your man your jutsu?" she asks mock-innocently, and represses a smile once again.

Naruto's expression changes from "happy pervy thoughts" to "forlorn". "I offered once. He broke my nose -- hey!"

She's laughing now, she's laughing and she can't stop, and it's full-throated and loud, shoulders shaking, head thrown back. Everyone pauses to look at her. She sees Shikamaru watching her, appreciative. She gives him a conniving smirk, and finds Ino's eyes.

The other blonde is by the barbeque, busy harping on Chouji's cooking most probably. She pauses to look at Temari, startled.

There's a crack there, under the frown; just a small imbalance, just a touch of uncertainty. That's about all Temari needs. She smirks, a challenge whose reason Ino visibly doesn't get, and leaves her seat. Time to mingle, now. Time to prepare her plan.


	9. Sexy no Jutsu Naruto&Sakura

I have such evil reviewers. Scorpion05 and kunoichi008, I'm looking at you in particular. You just HAD to ask, didn't you. XD

From the previous drabble: _"If you want two girls so much, why don't you teach your man your jutsu?" she asks mock-innocently, and represses a smile once again. _

Naruto's expression changes from "happy pervy thoughts" to "forlorn". "I offered once. He broke my nose -- hey!"

Sakura/Naruto interaction, rated R because yay pervy conversation. XD

* * *

"You want me to what?"

Sakura glares at Naruto. Or gapes; she isn't sure. Probably some mix of the two.

"Ask Sasuke to try the sexy-no-jutsu for me."

Naruto's smile is so sunny, even despite the still bruised nose that she only just finished mending.

"... You want... ME... to ask SASUKE... to become a GIRL for you... so you can...?"

"Perv over you two of course. Come on, I want to see lesbian porn of my own eyes at least once in my life."

She stares at him some more. And then she hits him over the head. He ends up with his face hitting the table, and yelps and whimpers pitifully. "oo broke mah nose again!"

She growls at him, tilting his head up so she can heal him all over again. "Can't you stop being a perverted ball of hormones even one second!"

Naruto grumbles, and whimpers when she "forgets" to anesthetize him when she straightens his nose again. "'m nineteen! 'm SUPPOSED to be a ball of hormones -- ow."

She heals him without answering for a minute, scowling and pretending that the idea hasn't finally fully hit her and isn't making her blush. "What makes you think he'd listen to me more than he'd listen to you?"

"Well, I dunno, but at least he wouldn't hit you. But come on, wouldn't that be awesome? I'm not even half as pretty as he is as a guy, and I make a really sexy woman -- imagine what he'd turn into."

She glowers at Naruto. "Naruto, hasn't it occurred to you for even one second that I'm, you know, STRAIGHT?"

"Uh. Oh. But -- it's not a girl, it's Sasuke. Bet you're more Sasusexual than heterosexual. And wouldn't it be fun to have him feel all soft and squishy for once?" he adds, with a diabolical, fangy leer that would be more effective if his nose wasn't still a very ugly purple.

She turns red, and lifts her hand threateningly again, but she doesn't want to have to heal him again. "M-maybe I like him rough and ha-- Oh shut up!"

Naruto is almost pissing himself with laughter. "Hard!"

"Yes, I said hard, and I didn't mean it like that and you know it so shut up!"

"Aw, come on. I like him hard too. And needy and breathless and biting and scratching --"

"Naruto!"

He dodges this time, throwing himself under the table for protection, and she fumes. "You -- you filthy pervert!"

Naruto's laughing as he emerges on the other side of the table, and leers at her again. "Oh, Sakura-chan, we've been lovers for ages and you still can't take some dirty talking. Mm, naaked Sasuke. All glaring and flushed and breathing hard and pretending he's not about to come."

She splutters and lunges at him; he dodges.

"Come oon Sakura-chaan, pretty please with a naked Sasuke on top..."

"NO! I am not going to ask him that! I don't even WANT him to do that!"

Naruto switches from evil pervert to kicked puppy. "But -- my dream, my one fantasy..."

"Didn't you use that excuse to get us to -- whatever! I'm straight, and he's just as macho as you, so there!"

"But I would turn into a girl for either of you! And -- oohh."

Oh god. What is he thinking now? He looks like he did the day he figured out he could use the kage bunshin to do both Sasuke and Sakura at the same time -- thank god THAT idea proved to be very, very impractical. She opens her mouth to tell him that whatever kinky, filthy little fantasy just popped into his head can STAY THERE.

"What if I turned into a girl and you turned into a guy? You'd still have straight sex and I'd still have lesbian sex -- it would be perfect!"

"W-WHAT!"

He leers. "Come on, tell me you never wondered how it felt to have a dick."

"I have two of them," she snaps back, "and at the moment one of them is being more of a pain than he's worth."

"OUCH." Naruto's hands flit through the seals. POOF. "Here, now I'm not a dick anymore. Soo, how about it, Sakura-chan?"

Naruko leans toward Sakura, wisps of smoke teasingly hinting at the generous curves they're hiding.

Sakura swings at her. Naruko's nose is only saved from a third break thanks to gravity and her own lacking sense of balance.

"Ow."

Sakura stares down at the blonde girl who's suddenly sitting on the floor, legs spread indecently, all surprised, thick-lashed eyes and defenseless attitude. And then she blushes and turns away. The smoke is all but a distant memory by now.

"...owwies. Thank god my tush is more cushiony like that."

"Having a fat butt isn't something to brag about. Get up, idiot," she mutters, still not looking.

Suddenly there are arms around her neck, slender and elegant and soft, and boobs pressing against her back. Naruto whispers in her ear, voice breathier than a phone sex operator. "We could have so much fun, Sakura-chan... Why won't you look at me? Afraid to lose your resolve?"

She squirms, embarrassed, and elbows the blonde, who moans suggestively in response and presses her breasts harder against her back. "You've got nothing I haven't seen in the bathhouse, stupid. I'm straight, get over it. Besides, you want lesbian sex with Sasuke anyway. Leave me out of it."

"I don't want you out. I want you in. In me... or in him... How do you think he'd react -- for once you would be stronger, heavier... you could pin him down, make him feel good... he couldn't fight it, couldn't pretend he's in control or only humoring us... you could make him moan and squeal and pant..."

She shivers. Sasuke is so strong to her, one of the strongest people she knows, and yet living with him so long, she has become intimately acquainted with his carefully hidden weaknesses. He never lets anyone protect him, take care of him -- depending on anyone for anything scares him to death. She wants to prove that she could take care of him too, if only he'd let her, and she doesn't mean in the being a good housewife sense. (He cooks better than her anyway.) Naruto takes care of him sometimes, but not because Sasuke lets him -- because the blond holds him down and makes him accept it.

Sakura... Sakura can't force him to accept anything she has to offer, and so, he only takes it whenever it doesn't threaten his armor of steel and self-reliance too much.

Naruto's tone is satisfied. He can see that she's wavering. "... so... how about it?"

"... I'm still not gay."

"Uh-huh."

"And -- how does your jutsu even work? Won't it just turn me into a curvier girl?" she asks, making her tone skeptical.

"Dunno, maybe. Won't know until you try -- betcha you always wanted to know what you'd look like with Tsunade-big tits, though."

He gropes her, delicate girl-hands with manicured fingernails cupping her breasts openly. She squeals and elbows him. It feels weird; she's used to larger hands, rougher skin. "Naruto!"

"What?" Grinning, he turns her around, and kisses her -- tongue and all. She's too busy spluttering and, well, and being kissed to formulate an answer. But inside, she's huffing. Her breasts are just fine! She never envied Tsunade or Hinata or Anko, and she was certainly not glad when her pregnancy left her a size larger than before.

It feels weird to be almost the same size, and it feels weirder to have Naruko's soft, ample breasts between them, instead of her own pressing against a flat, muscled chest. Naruko's lips are a little fuller, not as chapped as Naruto's lips usually are. They kiss the exact same way, though, and she sighs, ignoring the weirdness to concentrate on the fact that it's still him.

"... Don't stop on my account," Sasuke drawls from the door.

Sakura yelps, mortified, and tears herself out of Naruko's embrace to face him. He's leaning against the frame, as if he's been here for a little while now.

"Um, Sasuke-kun..."

Naruko slips her arms around her neck and hugs her from behind again. Sakura is reminded of how much she's naked exactly. "Hiii, Sasu-chan!"

His arched eyebrow turns into a sarcastic-and-leering smirk that she's only seen on his face twice -- he just doesn't let loose all that often. She knows what it means...

"Just warn me anytime if you girls need a man."

... Naruto isn't the only one to have a lesbian fantasy.

* * *

And yes, yes, I'm toning down on the drabbling and starting on the next chapter, now. 


	10. A Day in the Life of

Title: Teamwork: A Day In The Life Of  
Author: Asuka Kureru  
Fandom: Naruto  
Series: Teamwork (TWT: you can read it whenever you want, no real spoilers)  
Pairing(s): NaruSasuSaku  
Genre: pointless fluff  
Warnings: teh sweetness! Ouch, my teeth. Very random. Pretty much useless.

I know that the next chapter of the main fic is taking its sweet time. There's only a big scene to complete; sadly it's proving to be rather annoying and stressful to deal with. I wrote and deleted about three versions of it. I've managed to get over my block, and am now in the middle of it. Hopefully I'll be done soon. (and no, I won't start over again, too bad if it's not quite up to my standards.)

* * *

Naruto doesn't even remember what he did to provoke Sasuke this time. The result - being tackled down on the grass, having the breath kissed/bitten/sucked out of him - holds his interest much better than silly ponderings over the trigger to that. A lot of things trigger Sasuke into proving his manliness to him these days, since he started letting Naruto do him.

Naruto doesn't mind. That hard body rubbing aggressively against his own, these devouring kisses that leave him breathless and dazed - he'd be a fool to mind.

There's a gasp behind them and Naruto looks up to see Sakura. A hand on her mouth, she gapes at them. They're putting on quite the show, he knows that; Sasuke straddling his hips and rubbing against him as he kisses his neck hungrily, Naruto sprawled under him as he ineffectually tries to struggle his way out of his clutches. It's a good thing the walls around their garden are high.

She doesn't gape for long. A few words, a quick hand movement, and - "Suiton!" Sasuke freezes, hissing in shock and outrage, his bangs dripping water on Naruto's cheek. Naruto's a little wet, but not half as much as Sasuke, who drips merrily on the grass and Naruto's legs. Slowly, he turns, black eyes narrowed, and gives Sakura a predatory glare. She doesn't falter, or apologize, like she would have only a few months ago. She lifts her chin proudly, and starts shaping more seals. It's a challenge. Sasuke, just like Naruto, can't resist a good challenge.

A second later, Naruto is abandoned on the wet grass, and Sakura shrieks as she's thrown across Sasuke's shoulders. Naruto watches them; Sasuke stomps so sexily, and Sakura, when flushed, always reminds him of all the good times he's had ravishing her.

Leisurely, Naruto gets up and follows, and watches with amusement as Sasuke throws her in the pond, and as her water clone shoves him in over her head. Naruto laughs as they surface, at Sasuke's head, covered with a water lily, at Sakura's squeal when a fish wriggles free of her top. He laughs even more when Sakura splashes water at Sasuke's face to cover her escape, when Sasuke jumps out of the pond, half the water sloshing out after him, and tackles her, pinning her down. They're both so wet Sasuke can't get a good grip, but in the end he manages to immobilize her, her legs around his waist, her wrists caught in one of his hands, pressed in the ground over her head - and then he starts tickling her, a sadistic smirk on his lips.

Sakura's skirt is riding up her thighs as she kicks desperately, breathless from laughing so hard. Sasuke's shirt and pants stick to his skin, only allowing tantalizing glimpses of wet flesh here and there. Naruto watches. Because they're so hot, because they both belong to him.

And then he goes and winds his arms around Sasuke's waist, because Sakura begs for help so nicely, and he lifts him off their girl. She squirms free, manages to pull one of her arms out of Sasuke's grasp - and immediately counterattacks.

Sasuke is not ticklish - or if he is, he's smart enough not to show it. Naruto knows what makes him twist and jump on his lap, what makes him gasp and bite his lip, what makes him growl, "Sakura, stop!" in an exasperated voice that's the Uchiha version of pleading.

She doesn't. She pushes him back against Naruto's chest, and continues her assault on his ribs and sides and stomach, green eyes shining in grim triumph.

"That will teach you," she says, flushed but determined not to give, "to start molesting without me."

Sasuke doesn't reply. Naruto assumes he is sufficiently cowed - that, or trying not to moan.

"And here I thought," he answers, because he's the only one of the two men who can still talk, "that you stopped us because you didn't want the neighbors to see us."

Sakura flushes guiltily and glances at the wall. Her mouth is half-open, her wet hair sticks to her skin, her top is molded to her cleavage; she's utterly delicious. Naruto lets Sasuke go, and they both pounce. She shouldn't get distracted in the middle of a battle anyway.

Soon enough, no one cares about the neighbors anymore.

Later, they watch the sun set, lying in a pile on the grass. Naruto is on his back, Sasuke's head on his chest, Sakura cradled between them. The grass is muddy under them and they're streaked with dirt, even despite the three other dunks they've taken in the pond. No one really gives it a thought. They cuddle closer when the temperature drops with the light, Sasuke's hands rubbing Sakura's chilled skin, Naruto absently teasing Sasuke's neck with a blade of grass. He gets a punch in his thigh for his trouble, and chuckles. Sakura's wet hair tickles his stomach.

So maybe a lot of things trigger Sasuke's attacks these days. So maybe Naruto baits them a bit much. So maybe Sakura knows their sensitive points too well. So what? If it means that Sasuke will want to prove he's a man, and Sakura will jump in, pretending that she wants to stop them, he doesn't see why he ever should stop baiting.

But first, he'll give them a few minutes' rest. Grinning, he crosses his arms behind his head, and thinks up another all-but-innocent comment on Sasuke's virility.


	11. protector

WOOHOO! I FINISHED THE 5th CHAPTER! It's off at my beta's, and it's a big one (47 pages, double-spaced), so I'm not sure how long my lovely Windshades will need to go trough it. One week or two maybe.

Still. The monster-chapter is done. I'm so happy. Here, have a horribly syrupy Sasuke ficlet to celebrate.

* * *

Sasuke has known for years that he is done being an avenger. He has known since the first time he felt a flutter of life under his fingers, cradled in his wife's womb.

He is a protector now. This is his role and his function and his reason to go on living. He is a protector, and he will do anything, let anything be done to him, in order to fulfill his mission. Just as he was willing to do anything and have anything done to him in the name of vengeance.

But his dead only smile at him in his memories.

His child -- his child only needs to catch sight of him.

He doesn't understand why the smiles; Sakura is the mother, the one who cares, and Naruto the funny-father, the one who jokes and tells stories and helps forget about skinned knees.

Sasuke is the stern-father, the one who poses the boundaries. The one who watches out and not in.

So the smiles -- the little smiles, the shy smiles, the hesitant smiles -- the sudden wide grins when his child forgets that Sasuke isn't the caring one or the funny one... he doesn't understand why. But he will protect them.

So when Naruto tells him to stop sleeping seated in a corner of the nursery, he tells him to fuck off. And when Sakura tries to puzzle out why all those older bullies take the long way around rather than walking by their street nowadays, he shrugs and changes the subject. And when Tsunade wonders how such an accident could happen -- these council members were experienced and crafty enough to know better, right? And if it was foul play, who would have anything against them? -- he arches an eyebrow and blandly asks she's asking him to investigate.

He already knows what he would find. Nothing. Because he left nothing. And he already knows why. Blackmail. Blackmail using his child.

Not on his life.

Sasuke is not tender, nor does he possess the kind of sense of humor that should ever be used around a child. He's cold, cynical. But it's alright. His child -- their child -- has Sakura and Naruto for that. He serves another purpose.

He isn't the funny one. He isn't the loving one.

So why.

Why.

The child is just enough like Naruto, that Sasuke knows the answer would be, "just because". The child is just enough like Sakura to add, "gifts are to be enjoyed and not questioned," if Sasuke ever, ever thought about asking.

Or maybe he would just receive a puzzled blink, and a shrug, and a smile. And then his child would fall asleep on him again.

Maybe this is answer enough.


	12. Sakura's parents

_"I made Genin at fifteen. My crowning glory was getting flattened by a ten-year-old -- who, granted, would become the Fourth Hokage -- in under thirty seconds during my third attempt at Chuunin. A few months later, I lost the use of my leg and quit."_

Long before Teamwork, Haruno Yukihiro (Sakura's dad.) Inventing coherent OCs is kind of fun. XD

* * *

Yukihiro is seventeen when his dream is crushed for good. 

It suffers its first blow at twelve, when he's held back a year at the Academy; then its second and third when twice in a row, his team is rejected by their Jounin-sensei. The experience terrifies him, until he realizes that they're not expected to beat the Jounin, just to prove that they're not going to be a complete waste of time. The third time, he has the good luck of being teamed up with a Clan member who actually listens to other opinions instead of being persuaded that being bornmeans he'sinherently above commoners, and who agrees that tricks and traps might just be better than brute force when fighting a higher-level ninja is concerned.

Yukihiro is fifteen when he's made Genin. Their sensei is slow and easygoing; and he tells them that he chose them because their training will go the same way; slow and easy. Neither of them has the spark needed to go up fast and far. The best they can expect is Chuunin. Chuunin is good; it's a rank where you can be useful, without ever feeling the crushing responsibility of holding in your hands the lives of the whole village. Also, they will have a much better chance of living to raise a family. Yukihiro is starting to notice girls, so hey, it's disappointing but he'll probably live through it.

Yukihiro is sixteen when his teammates both pass the Chuunin test, and seventeen when, with another team that he doesn't know as well but goes along reasonably well with, he finally reaches the final stage. Then he is faced with true genius. Yukihiro is good with traps and his aim is reasonably accurate, but faced with a ten year old he can't even see move, he doesn't last long. He tries not to lose his head to pride; he could lift the child with one hand -- and then the child would kick his head clean off. As a result, he holds on a whole minute and a half instead of fifteen seconds. The child thanks him for giving it his best, and Yukihiro can't even hate him for it. Maybe next time, he tells himself, and almost believes it.

Yukihiro is still seventeen when the war takes a turn for the worse and they start using Genins in the field. Yukihiro is better at being sneaky than at confrontations. He's made a messenger. He tries his best but his traps are just blasted through and his scrolls taken. He's found hours later and summarily patched up and sent back to Konoha; a month later he will know that the information he guarded so fiercely was deliberately faked; the false information cost the enemy five Chuunins. They tell him he'll never run again.

He never does.

He was never a good ninja; a little cleverer than most, accurate aim, some skill with traps, and that's it. Basic taijutsu and low-level genjutsu were the best he could ever manage. But he already knew he would never amount to much, and girls like young, tragic war-veterans anyway.

He pities himself for a few months, fulfills the requirements of his doctors to the letter, doesn't tire himself out trying harder; his nerves are dead, he can't fight with half his leg numb and his kneecap smashed into nonexistence.

He lets girls pity him and care for him, and it's nice, except when it isn't. He can't drag himself out of his funk when everyone reminds him how deep he is.

Hana cares for him when he hurts and snorts at him when he just doesn't want to try. Hana is appreciative of his ninja abilities when they're useful for a civilian, and politely uninterested when they aren't. Hana coolly refuses the bouquet of roses he gives her when she comes for his daily therapy, and blushes when he hobbles all the way from the sanatorium to her village with a messy bunch of wildflowers under his arm. Hana likes his handsome face, and teases him for his white hair. Hers is cherry-red and about as natural-looking as his own.

Their daughter's hair is pink, and when she decides that she wants to be a ninja, Yukihiro lets her; she hasn't fallen for one of his traps in years.


	13. before Teamwork, Naruto and Jiraiya

I am still working on chapter 6 of Teamwork, but it's getting even longer than chapter 5 and not even half-done yet. I'm waiting to hear from my beta on the first half of the chapter, and then I'll post the two parts separately. (yeah, I know I'm weird with my "1 chapter means 1 point of view" obsession. XD So there will be chapter 6 parts a and b.) So **yes, this means some Teamwork proper will be posted soonish**. You can put away the pitchforks now.

Naruto and Jiraiya, pre-Teamwork; Naruto is about 15. (this should belong in Teamwork : Progression; alas! It's a bit too late to upload it in the middle of that one.) Thanks to Cindelius for the beta.

oOoOoOo

Sometimes, Jiraiya drags him out of the village and pretends he wants to pass on more of his techniques. Naruto always complains -- he doesn't like to let his team hang with little to no warning, and Jiraiya only wants him around so he can raid Naruto's wallet on his alcohol-and-whores binges anyway -- but he always follows.

One, because the techniques and training may be brutal, but they give results, and Naruto has never been afraid of doing what needs to be done, no matter the risks, in order to get stronger.

Two, because if the Akatsuki are coming after him again, he'd rather they didn't catch up in the middle of Konoha. Or worse, with Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke caught in the crossfire.

Especially Sakura, because she wouldn't have a fighting chance. Especially Sasuke, because he'd lose it again and Naruto has had it up there with punching holes through his best friend.

Kakashi can hold his own. He's immortal, really.

Three, because, alright, he likes to travel, but he's not going to get the chance to chat up a scantily-clad woman with Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan around. Those damned perverted books are brainbreaking enough; Naruto refuses to imagine Kakashi bringing his team to a red-lantern district unless it directly involves a mission -- not, as Jiraiya does, unless it somewhat meanders a few streets beyond said district and they're really not into that much of a hurry, are they. (Jiraiya has a somewhat elastic sense of planned routes and timeframes; Naruto doesn't mind as much as he pretends to.) And he can't have Sakura-chan there because, well ... Yeah.

As for Sasuke, he'd probably just scoff and wait for Naruto elsewhere, so his presence wouldn't make much of a difference.

Anyway, those trips aren't so bad, and at least they let him see more of the outside world.

And more of the outside people, too.

The person he's chatting up is a young woman, not a girl; she has clear brown hair and eyes -- and eyes. Well, he's fairly sure she has eyes. He isn't sure of their color. He could still pinpoint the beauty spot between and just a little over her left breast even if she decided to put on a parka right now. It's that tantalizing.

Well, okay, she's the one chatting him up. He's a bit tongue-tied. Just a bit. Having a soft, delicate hand with manicured nails traveling up and down his chest might explain it.

He follows on her heels like she has him by the balls, which she does, figuratively. The second they're in a booth out of direct sight of the bar, the hold becomes very much non-figurative.

She lets him find out if that beauty spot tastes different from the rest of her skin.

He leaves the bar dazed, pleased, and with a whole new appreciation for the firm pressure of a thumb. Jiraiya is ranting up a storm about Naruto's woman getting added to his tab; but seeing as Naruto's wallet is still flat from the last old pervert's raid, he isn't too concerned.

Next time they stay at a brothel perhaps he'll make Jiraiya shell out for a geisha.

oOoOoOo

Nope, Naruto never manages to get that geisha. Yeah, it's really not a lot of real life experience. But Kyuubi's memories and his own imagination more than compensate for it. XD

It amuses me so much that Sakura was the only one of the three who ever had sex before they shacked up. u.u


	14. Cravings

Bookpeople asked for "How about something to do with Sakura and her cravings? In the middle of the night, preferably, just because I'm feeling evil."

* * *

Sakura had been eating a half-pound of tomatoes a day for the last week. It was getting to the point where Naruto started to cock his fist to punch a smug smirk off the Uchiha's face if she even so much as glanced at anything red and round.

Before that, it had been red pepper with turkey, though, and pistachio ice-cream, and before that, marmalade made of _roses_. The flower, yeah. Who had ever heard of something like that? Naruto didn't know, but the people who did sure knew how to line their pockets. And then she hadn't even finished the pot.

It was okay, though, or okay enough, because even when the cravings hit during the night, she just slipped to the kitchen quietly -- hey, ninja -- and went about her devouring romps as quietly as possible. She was so nice and caring, sometimes, not like the bastard who left the kitchen door open so the light could shine in Naruto's face, and what did he mean eleven wasn't a hour to wake up, those were called days off, maybe bastard had heard of them -- um. Yeah.

Of course, when she came back, her cold feet woke him up in full, but by then he had Sasuke annoyed enough at having his own personal Naruto-shaped-blanket (that did nothing but nuzzle his neck sleepily) that Naruto could talk them both into a quick romp about one time out of two.

The second time out of two, well, they didn't have a couch yet, but they did have a bathtub big enough for one teenage guy, provided he didn't mind having his legs dangling over the edge, and he guessed Sasuke deserved a chance to sleep with a Sakura on his shoulder too.

(Well, the bastard was too twitchy to let anyone cuddle up for too long; but the other night, Naruto had woken up early -- stupid shower was leaking -- and he'd caught them holding hands in their sleep. It was the cutest thing ever.

And then Sakura had woken up, been sick over his bare feet, and had promptly gone on to declare that she wanted apple pie.)

But for the last week, nope. Tomatoes. Tomatoes here, tomatoes there, cooked tomatoes and fresh tomatoes, tomato salad and tomato sauce and stuffed tomato, and to drink, tomato-freaking-juice, and the only pleasure he'd gotten out of his meals all week had been to see Sakura growl and try to stab Sasuke's hand with a fork when he looked like he wanted to try one.

It was only funny as long as Sasuke didn't smirk at him. Because Sakura got pissed when Sasuke wore her food.

So here they were, asleep after a good, filling meal of tomatoes (_again_, and by god he would kill for some meat except that Sakura had decided to get nauseous from the smell.) As always, Sakura got up in the middle of the night and Naruto had to dodge Sasuke's automatic counterattack when he flopped over for an innocent cuddle session, but they were developing a routine and that got settled fast -- Sasuke allowed him to nuzzle as long as he could dig his elbow in Naruto's ribs -- and then they were dozing again in the almost total quiet of the house. (After the third night, Sasuke had polished and oiled the bathroom and kitchen door hinges so thoroughly you could breathe on the doors and they would open like magic. Bastard had no endurance.)

Squeeeak.

The fridge had always been compassionate to the plight of the two young men. The fridge was quiet.

The cupboards were not.

Squeak, squeak.

The cupboard would get the oil tomorrow morning.

Squeak, SQUEEEEEAK, BANG.

_"Is there no goddamn miso ramen in this house?!" _

Sasuke kicked him clean out of bed when the Uchiha stormed out to find some motherfucking oil and grease those motherfucking cupboards, but that didn't dim the wide smirk on Naruto's face any.

* * *

For info, Kishimoto says that tomatoes are Sasuke's favorite food. u.u 


	15. Orochimaru and Akatsuki

Short prequel that happens some time after the Valley of the End, where the timeline of Teamwork diverged from Canon. Villains POV. It's fun to see how they interpret their clues. Some of it they get totally wrong, and yet, some of it they know more about than Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura do.

Spot the cameo! (Hint: so far he's a manga-only character. :p)

* * *

"I do hope you have good news for me this time, my dear?" 

Kabuto sighed quietly, locked up the pigeon's cage, and turned somber eyes on his master. "My apologies, Orochimaru-sama. The message says that the team never reached Konoha."

Pale fingers tightened on a balcony ledge. A golden eye narrowed. The other eye was still lost under many bandages.

"_Again_."

There was a weight to that little word that made Kabuto wince and start to list to himself how many disposable genin he could throw at his master to slack his ire. Not a lot anymore, not since they had been forced to switch hideouts every other week by Jiraiya's relentless hunt.

The first team they'd sent -- the Sound Four, the best and most faithful -- had almost succeeded. Almost. And then Uchiha Sasuke had failed to fight his way free. Bad luck; irritating, but he would have arrived too late for the transfer anyway, and Orochimaru's new body enabled him to wait a while longer.

The second team had had an encounter with Hatake Kakashi.

Now, with the third team going incommunicado, Kabuto was starting to wonder if perhaps going back to Konoha hadn't been Sasuke's choice from the start. It certainly looked like his choice now; he had left the hospital a month ago and still hadn't made a move to escape on his own. No matter; making his body a fitting vessel for Orochimaru-sama would be easier with Sasuke-kun's cooperation, but they didn't need his consent.

"I don't suppose," Orochimaru inquired silkily, "that the message said anything of the location of my wayward children, did it?"

"Which pieces are you looking for?"

Kabuto was a good ninja, jounin-level, infiltration specialist. He _knew _sneaky. And Orochimaru-sama was a Sannin. Neither of them had seen, heard, smelled or felt him coming.

Itachi stood at the center of the cave-like room, watching them calmly.

* * *

Kisame found his partner in the middle of a vast expanse of broken-down masonry and still-burning debris. Itachi was propped up against a wall, gazing up at the blue sky. He looked so calm and casual that at first glance, it was hard to realize that anything was out of the ordinary. At least for someone who didn't know Itachi. His eyes were black, and that was the most telling, even though the absence of cloak and the strangely wet, heavy way his black clothes settled on his body were rather telling in themselves. 

"Did you have trouble with the mission?" Kisame asked with fake surprise and real amusement.

Itachi merely glared at him, but Kisame was aware of how blurry his vision got, and that rather undermined the effect. Nevertheless, he let his smirk smooth out and approached, opening his cloak to tear strips off the lining. The way Itachi bled, he would need bandages, and a lot.

"Status?"

"Stab wound through the stomach. Several serpent bites -- the antidote neutralizes the lethal aspect."

"But not the shakes or lack of coordination?" Kisame replied as he knelt beside his partner to check out his wounds.

Itachi frowned, as if he took those particular side-effects of especially deadly toxins like a personal affront. "No. Broken forearm, torn ligaments, cut muscles."

Kisame whistled in appreciation. "Weeell. He must have gotten better."

Itachi grunted. "Kabuto had. He was... distracting."

"Perhaps it would have been better to come with you, eh?"

Itachi threw him a quick, reprimanding glare. "No. It wouldn't have been."

Of course. Itachi would pretend that getting rid of Orochimaru had been purely business, but the fact of the matter was that he hadn't stepped up and taken the long-standing open mission until he heard that the snake summoner wasn't going to take no for an answer, as far as a certain Uchiha Sasuke was concerned. Itachi didn't care which path his little brother took to catch up to him, but he was quite adamant about letting Sasuke choose it and walk it to the end on his own two feet.

Chuckling -- Itachi would make him pay for it, but not for a while yet -- Kisame finished bandaging off the stomach wound. It was nasty; thankfully he knew where to find good medic-nins quickly. As for the broken bones and ligaments... Well. Their leader wasn't going to be happy. This would put Itachi out of commission for a little while.

"Well, I'm done with my part of the job, at least. Even if it wasn't very fun."

Itachi's eyes drifted over the vast expanse of rocks, his eyes tracking the escape of a pale, white-haired silhouette with some difficulty.

"Your cleanup wasn't very efficient."

Kisame shrugged, and deftly tied off the end of a bandage around Itachi's ravaged arm. "I have something of a personal interest in that one."

"Really."

"You could say he's like a little brother to me." Kisame chuckled, teeth bared in a feral, strangely self-satisfied smile. "I'm sure you understand exactly what that's like."

Itachi's lips quirked up in a fleeting smile. "I see."

Kisame finished bandaging off the wounds that bled the most, and sat back on his heels, surveying his handiwork. "Think you can survive for three more hours?"

Itachi didn't even grace him with an annoyed look. "Don't waste time, Kisame."

He still managed to make it sound like he didn't care, and was just mentioning it because the one in the most trouble would be Kisame. And then people said they didn't understand why Kisame actually liked working alongside Itachi. He had more balls than all of Akatsuki combined, and it would never stop being hilarious. Still smirking, Kisame picked up his partner in the crook of an arm, gave the burning wreckage a last look, and started running toward the closest competent medic-nin.

Behind them, Orochimaru's Western lair still smoked, ashes snowing on the ruins lazily. There was nothing left of any of the research, or the bodies.

* * *

9.9  
"Kisame, who is that boy you allowed to run off?"  
"He wants to kill me and I find that funny, so I let him go so he'd get stronger."  
"Oh. Your little brother."  
"... _Something like that_."  
u.u;;;;; Oh Itachi. 


	16. SakuraSasuke, gloves

"I'm home!"

Sakura waits. Silence.

Naruto isn't going to be here to slump on and gripe about her bruises and her scraped knuckles, she knows that -- Inuzuka Tsume requested a full week of his time, for proper training. Sakura didn't miss him the first few days; it's a lot easier to study when he isn't begging for love. As for Sasuke... Sometimes, reading side by side in silence, drinking the tea he makes for her, is enough. Today, she feels a little lonely.

The living room is full of unsorted clutter; the rest of the house is empty, still a little dusty. They're camping; it's not home yet. There's a small box on the coffee table, where she dumped the medical scrolls she is to read for tomorrow. It has no name on it, but it's at her usual place, meticulously parallel to the edge of the table.

She picks it up, blinks at it.

"Open it."

Sasuke is standing in the connecting door to the dojo. She reddens; at first it feels like getting caught snooping, and then it's a flush of pleasure as she realizes the package really is for her, from him.

He half-turns away just as the small bundle of black cloth falls out, across her palm.

He bought her gloves.

They're tough but not stiff, padded in all the right places, obvious quality. Sasuke is waiting, eyes bored, tilt of the head vaguely challenging, like he doesn't care. Like he didn't go out of his way to get them for her.

She doesn't know what to say, but then he doesn't let her say anything. "You'll tell me how they fit," he throws over his shoulder, and he leaves.

They fit perfectly; and the next day, when she flips and skids over jagged rocks as Tsunade throws her around, and punches that tree trunk fifty times in a row, for once Sakura's hands don't smart that badly.


	17. Kiba and Hinata, Teamwork 1 scene

_Ages ago, Tephralynnasked for a Teamwork 1 scene. (She's a friend of mine, doesn't mean requests are open here ;p) "__When Sasuke ran into Hinata and Kiba on his way to figure out where they took Sakura the morning after, why did Sasuke get the impression that Kiba was __scared__ when he smelled Naruto and Sakura on him?"_

_So here's a random slice of Kiba POV, that I'm mostly posting to tell you all mostly that the first chapter of Teamwork 3 is getting betaed and almost ready to post. Yay._

* * *

Kiba would have gone on dates with Hinata every day of the week, if he could. But they both agreed that there were more pressing things in their lives than their relationship; for example, their missions, their friendship with Shino, and the need not to aggravate the Hyuuga clan too much by shoving Hinata's extracurricular activities under their noses. So the whole dating thing was kept pretty low-key. 

There was, also, the fact that Hinata was still, even now, getting over her guilt issues at still being kind of a little in love with Naruto. Kiba had told her he didn't mind -- and he _didn't_ -- she was with him now; but it meant that in almost a year they still weren't all that far past casual. He could be patient. But he was still glad whenever he got some quality time, worry-free.

So when people interrupted their dates, Kiba tended to get kind of annoyed.

When they interrupted them by ramming into his girlfriend, not even bothering to apologize, and then grabbing her by the arm and _looming_, he got a little more than just annoyed.

When they happened to be guys he didn't especially like all that much in the best of cases, who added to the lack by calling him "dog-boy"... well.

But it wasn't every day that Uchiha Sasuke roamed the streets stinking like the morning after a particularly fun party. Complete with drunken gang-bangs in the bathroom. What the hell. Since when did the Great Uchiha Iceberg have sex?

Kiba took a deeper breath.

... With a _girl_?

... With -- holy fuck. What the hell was that. It reminded him of something, but he dismissed it. He only thought it smelled a little like Naruto because to his knowledge, Sasuke didn't give the time of the day to any other guy -- and even then, not often.

It just couldn't be Naruto. It was too... Too...

_Huge_, whined Akamaru. Huge and _hungry_.

Huge and hungry and there was a strong possibility it had sexed up Sasuke. Before, after, or during the time Sasuke had sexed up, uh, was it Sakura -- a _girl_, well damn, now _that_ was a surprise -- and Kiba really wanted to stop thinking of the logistics. Really, he did.

A few seconds later, he got his wish. By getting roped into a hurried hunt for said Sakura. What the hell was going on there?

It was hard to keep a grudge for his interrupted date, when for once Sasuke seemed actually concerned for someone who wasn't his own little self. And now the happy dating mood was kind of broken, what with Hinata and him both wondering what was going on with Sakura. Hinata was worried; Kiba agreed, there was something going on. Maybe they'd hang around the administrative buildings, just in case they were needed.

But hey! He'd gotten a "please" and even a "thank you" out of the asshole, and he was going to relish the memory for a little while.


	18. Naruto and Tsunade, 25 years later

On another meme, Lady-Zip requested Teamwork!Naruto, 25 years later. This one's very short, but I still kind of like it. XD

* * *

"Come on, Tsunade-baachan, just a hint, pretty please..."

Tsunade leaned back in her seat, twirled the sake in her cup, and smirked widely. "Mmmh... Nope. It's supposed to reflect your style of government, not mine. I'm sure you'll have no problem writing it on your own... Hokage-sama."

Used to that particular distraction technique, Naruto only puffed up with importance and pride all of five seconds... Which was enough to make her laugh. "Aw, come on, just tell me how you did your own, so I can get an idea!"

"So you can copy it and change the pronouns, you mean!"

"And the wussy stuff you added, yeah."

"I'll give you wussy stuff, you brat."

"Alright, fine, don't help me! I don't need you anyway." Naruto turned away and started to stomp off.

"You don't get to ask Sakura to write that speech for you either! I'll tell her to punch you if you ask."

"I wasn't going to!" Naruto replied, outraged.

Tsunade didn't look very convinced. "Hm. If you say so."

"She's worse than you about that 'do it yourself, it must come from YOU' kinda stuff, anyway. She woulda punched me on her own." He grinned. "I was gonna ask Sasuke."

Tsunade threw a book at his head, which almost knocked his hat off. "Do you want to start a war?! _No_."

Naruto pouted, tugged the Hokage hat lower on his face to hide his sulky glare, lest Tsunade brain him with her chair, and crossed his arms defensively. "Fine, fine, I won't ask Sasuke either."

"Hokage's word?"

Bwee! -- um. "Yeah, yeah, Hokage's word."

Bah. With the appropriate bribery, he was sure one of his kids would agree.


	19. KyuubiSakura, Kiss

_A drabble from the kissing meme, where I asked people to give me a pairing and mood and I wrote them a kiss. Blackheisei asked for "KyuuSaku, Possessive." (requests are closed now.)_

_This has no real place in the Teamwork continuity. I'm just assuming Naruto let Kyuubi use his body again. For reference, Tsuki was a vixen in Kyuubi's "harem." She's quickly mentioned in Teamwork : Progression._

_The next chapter of Teamwork 3 is almost done, but I discovered that I still need a connecting scene in the middle so now I'm working on that. Hopefully it won't be a big one. It will probably throw my POV order off, but oh well._

* * *

The pink bitch is fuming. Kyuubi smirks and pretends not to notice, tails floating and curling lazily behind him. She's almost always so meek and cautious; usually he likes it, likes the respect and the fear she can't hide, but he likes the banked fire of her temper too. He still remembers their fight in the soul room. He almost wants it to happen again. (Except of course this time around he would win.)

"Hm, yes... She really does remind me of my Tsuki. The same... Grace."

The pink bitch snorts at his use of the word grace, which he admits he doesn't use often -- it's a weakling word, useless -- but he's old enough to have heard a whole lot of words he doesn't care to use. Retaliating for her reaction is easy. A quick, disdainful glance at that jarringly pink, bristly mane, cut as short as is practical...

"Well-groomed too. Sleek fur, soft as a cub's, I could hold her in my paws all night long..."

Explosion. The pink bitch jumps on her feet and stalks up to him, fists clenched, vibrating with anger. Kyuubi expects to be hit; if she does, then maybe he'll manage to slip Naruto's leash and retaliate.

Instead, she grabs the collar of that stupid shirt his host didn't want him to shred off, and she leans in his face, and she says, "Stop. Staring. At. Hinata."

He smirks, and measures her up, and his eyes tell her he finds her wanting. "Hmm?"

"Don't make me bite you."

He laughs then, because the idea of that fangless creature threatening him that way is completely -- how's that for a big word -- incongruous.

And then she does bite him, on the lip, and if she had fangs he'd be bleeding.

He does have fangs, and for him, she bleeds. But when he reels her in his lap to lick up the red on her lips, and holds her tight because he expects her to struggle, she only bites him again and growls, and then her tongue tangles with his in a very interesting way.

He allows it, on a probationary basis.

Later, she calls it a kiss (she also calls him a retard, but another bite cures her of that.) He decides to allow her to kiss him again, except, of course, this time around he chooses a more interesting part of his anatomy.


	20. Naruto&Team Kunoichi, Playful

Naruto and Team Kunoichi drabble. (Jin, Kigane and Beni are a team I made up for Teamwork 3. They appear in chapter 2, so if you have no clue who they are it's probably because you missed it.) Sarolynne requested this in my old kissing meme, where people gave me a mood and a pairing and I wrote them a kiss. It turned out to be kinda **R-rated**.

Not canon for the Teamwork universe, I was just having fun. Thanks to Monique27 and Winds no Unmei for the beta.

* * *

"But I -- no, wait, it's not that I don't -- but -- you see, my Sakura-chan--!"

"Sakura-chan doesn't have _this_, does she?" Jin replies with a soft, almost dangerous purr. He stalks up to Naruto, his kimono parting a little more with each step he takes.

Naruto whimpers, and freezes at the glimpse of a flat chest, slender legs, a teasing curl of dark silver hairs on a flat belly. Jin's hands trail down his sides, over his narrow hips, toward something Naruto is fairly sure Sakura doesn't possess.

A long smoke-gray lock slides over Jin's shoulder, barring that white-skinned chest with temptingly soft wisps of hair. "She doesn't have a dick," Jin whispers, and his voice has a hint of roughness behind the gentle, seductive lilt that goes straight to Naruto's groin.

By god, a boy shouldn't be allowed to be so gorgeous. He's like the best of both worlds, a pretty face on a body as close to true androgyny as they come...

Jin straddles Naruto's lap and his hands catch Naruto's wrists, preventing them from pushing him off. And then he kisses him, long and slow, openmouthed and wet, pulling a long groan from somewhere deep in Naruto's chest.

"...Does she?"

Reeling, Naruto needs a few seconds to remember the question. "... No? But. Uh. Sasuke does! And Sasuke, he -- well, he'll be... he won't be very..."

Then Beni is standing beside him -- and contrary to Jin, _her_ kimono is closed properly, belt pulled tight around her waist. But it ends a bit higher than mid-thigh, and her legs are so long and so smooth that Naruto is pretty sure if he craned his neck a little he would know whether she wears panties. He heard somewhere you're not supposed to, with traditional clothes.

Seeing her teammates, the question should probably be whether she shaves or not. And her legs just won't quit. She props up one of her feet on the couch, elegant, graceful, and she teases the thigh Jin isn't straddling with her bare toes. Naruto's not a leg man usually, but he imagines them wrapped around his hips and he whimpers.

"Does your Sasuke have legs like these?"

Beni kneels on the couch, one of her knees behind his back, the other slowly inching forward to straddle whatever space her teammate left free on Naruto's lap. She breathes in his ear, and trails nibbles down his chin until she can flick her tongue at his lips, and there she nips him again, and it makes him whimper a second time.

"...Sakura-chan does? Well, maybe not that long but. Erm. They're pretty nice, really!"

Beni gives him a blank stare that makes him wilt a little, and Kigane sighs and pouts at him.

With her riot of wild gold curls and her amused smirk, she looks so confident in her sensuality -- she has a right to be. Kigane's lips are red and so full; they're the kind of lips that are made to do horribly, horribly sinful things. She leans toward him, and -- well she doesn't unbelt her kimono like Jin did, but then she doesn't need to, because it wasn't holding her breasts in even before she leaned over him, presenting him with a supple, tempting valley and the edge of a very pink nipple.

She kisses him, too, sucks on his tongue like she would suck on his cock, and he's so hard it hurts, oh yes, yes, yes. "Neither of them has these, do they?" she asks with smug triumph, as she places one of Naruto's hand on her breast.

"No, but mine are better," Naruto replies without thinking.

Two seconds later he's been dumped out of the couch by three disgusted kunoichi, and there's no pretty boy on his lap, no long legs against his side and no breasts under his nose.

"Fine, you win! Damn it."

It's the first dare in his life Naruto would have been happier losing.


	21. Marking, 130 words

_... I don't know. I really don't._

* * *

Sakura hid the trigger spring of her trap under a couple of leaves and crept a little farther through the bushes. The place was lousy with rabbits; hopefully they would have something to eat tonight. On her right, Sasuke kept watch against the predators who no doubt knew about all that delicious bouncing meat. On her left...

"Sakura-chan! Look, look, I made a spiral on that tree!"

Sakura knew better. She really did.

She looked anyway.

On the bark, there was a wet spiral, a little wobbly but otherwise very... spirally. Naruto was still standing there, his penis in hand.

She gaped.

He grinned.

"_Naruto_!"

Of all the instincts Naruto had started to exhibit, she dearly wished marking his territory hadn't been one of them.


	22. Kakashi&kid, Who's yer babydaddy

My apologies for the lack of new chapter. The upcoming fight scene with Team Summons and the Kyuubi-Naruto mess is a lot harder to write than I thought it would be. I had to delete what I wrote and now I'm stuck looking for a better way. Blargh. I hate deleting fic.

So here is some random craziness, about 10-14 years after Teamwork, that came to me out of the blue.

(Aoru : to fan; to agitate; to stir up.)

* * *

So when Aoru was born, Kakashi was there -- _right_ there, in the room, having his hand broken with savage glee, seeing as how Sakura's water had broken while she was practicing a grappling hold on him. (Also with savage glee. The first pregnancy had made her mood-swingy and the second one somewhat murderous, but the third pregnancy combined the heights of her good cheer with a tendency to go straight for the throat.) Incidentally, he was now shirtless under the hospital garb they forced on him, because his vest was drenched with mommy fluids.

When the squalling little thing was taken out he was allowed to stagger off into the waiting room, only to be barreled into by Sasuke and Naruto. Yes she was fine, the baby was presumably fine -- it wouldn't be that loud if it wasn't -- and what did he know whether it was a boy or a girl, it wasn't like he had looked at it.

"You didn't look?" asked Naruto with puzzlement.

"Naruto."

Kakashi paused. Weighed his words.

"It was coming out of Sakura's. Place."

Sasuke was the first to laugh, though Naruto joined him fast. Kakashi only sighed and sank into the closest couch.

So then Naruto ransacked a vending machine for Sakura's favorites, and Sasuke paced a hole in the floor, and Kakashi had a nurse fix the hairline crack in his knuckle bone. He considered leaving afterwards but he was growing older and slower and he had to admit with great regret that long gone were the days where he could hope to outrun a woman scorned. Besides the couch was comfortable, and there was something hypnotic about the regular back and forth of Sasuke's nervous pacing.

"And who is going to meet Daddy now? Oh yes you are, you precious little angel."

Naruto dumped his loot on the couch and quivered in excitation. Sasuke whirled around on the spot and almost tripped. Both their fingers twitched with the need to appropriate the child. Kakashi closed his eyes and relaxed into the couch.

A second later he had a tiny little package warming his lap.

"Ah -- there's been a mistake," he said, trying to notice Sasuke glaring red murder at him.

The nurse giggled. "Oh, it's a big change indeed, but you'll get used to the idea soon. Look, doesn't she look just like you?"

Kakashi tried not to breathe too deeply in case he rolled the squirmy thing off his lap. "No, you see, I was just accompanying the mother -- huh."

The baby's hair was barely there, light and fuzzy -- but also unmistakably gray. Had Kakashi been an artist, he would have named the color "light slate." He wasn't, so he just named it "mine."

Naruto paused in mid-step. Stared at the baby. Tilted his head. Opened his mouth. Paused again, considering.

Then called out through the open door, to the bed Sakura was recuperating on.

"Oi Sakura-chan, you could have told us you were cheating on us with Kakashi-sensei!"

It was the talk of the hospital for a whole two months. Kakashi was just glad he wasn't the one who had to pay for repairs.

* * *

The baby grew up into an active, hug-happy, tantrum-prone toddler who walked at eight months and said her first word at nine ("idiot.") Naruto took to referring to his beloved, much-admired sensei as "Sakura-chan's concubine," taught his daughter to comb her hair over half her face, and referred to New Year and birthday presents as hush money.

Sasuke was the one who got her a miniature chuunin vest to wear for her first costumed party, but Kakashi forgave him. Sasuke was still clinging to his denial that little Aoru was just trying to be more like papa. Well, Sasuke-papa.

"Genetics are weird," Sasuke would say. "She got the white hair gene from Sakura's father and the black from me, and came up with her own color. That's my daughter alright." And the housewives of the block clucked sadly behind his back.

Kakashi was lucky these days when he managed to time his visits with Naruto's missions, because being greeted by "why, if it isn't the other, _other_ boyfriend!" lost some of its charm after six years. And it never seemed to help when Sakura snapped and went after the blond with whatever heavy thing she happened to have in hand.

Then one day Sakura snapped in a different way.

When Kakashi hopped over the gate and strolled toward them, already wearing his long-suffering 'ignoring Naruto' face, she didn't sigh, or look embarrassed.

She smiled at him.

That was rare enough, but it was the type of smile that made Kakashi's hair raise on the back of his neck. It was a secretive smile. A pleased, languorous smile. She stepped up to him in a hips-rolling, feline way that his cute little student should have had no knowledge of, at all, ever, and she placed a hand on his shoulder. Her voice was way too low, too intimate when she greeted him.

"It's been a long time... Kakashi."

Naruto seemed to have forgotten his mouth was still open.

Kakashi was a good ninja. A great ninja, even. So even though in his mind he wanted nothing more than to put his hands on his eye and ears (all three of them at the same time; he was talented), on the physical plane he only gave a little twitch before leaning toward his student and smiling back, heavy-lidded and attentive.

"... Sakura."

Naruto's arm worked well to point with, but his mouth was still out of order, which boded well for the ultimate result of this plan. Sakura gave a sensual little chuckle and leaned in.

Kakashi's nerve broke when he saw her lips approach.

A couple of hours later Naruto was still breaking into random fits of giggles and muttering "his FACE ahaha" at frequent intervals, but at least it was another three whole months before he made the baby daddy joke again.

* * *

"At this rate you might as well become our fourth lover for real," said Sasuke one day when they were sitting at the edge of the deck, watching not-so-little Aoru throwing earthworms at her older siblings. And while Kakashi choked in his mask, Sasuke just waved at the wall that separated them from the rest of the district philosophically. "After all, we've already dealt with the wave of shocked gossip."

Kakashi hummed with distracted interest and pointed out a very interesting taijutsu combo Aoru-chan had used to trip up Naruto's kid. Not a genius, no, but she was still gifted. Look how well she beat up her bigger siblings.

Sasuke only smirked at him and snapped a no-nonsense order at the squabbling children. Aoru even managed to look contrite. "And a remarkable actress as well," Kakashi commented.

"She's a pest," Sasuke replied, but he looked more amused than anything. "Yamada-san asked me why you weren't living with us yesterday."

"... Sasuke."

"Seems like public opinion is reaching the point where it's becoming more shocking that you aren't parenting your daughter than we're living in a depraved sex commune."

"_Sasuke_." Kakashi gave his favorite pupil -- ex-favorite now -- a disappointed look. "What have I ever done to you?"

Sasuke arched an eyebrow, and took a sip of coffee. "You mean beside the fact that Sakura's parents wonder why we haven't brought you over for dinner yet?"

Kakashi groaned.

"I would tell them that all signs point to Aoru having the sharingan, but at this level it would only get me more denial points." Sasuke said. "You're obviously a bastard child of the Uchiha. That implant story is just a cover-up."

"...Yes, obviously," Kakashi repeated weakly.

"Might as well accept the inevitable and move in."

"Sasuke. Sasuke. I will personally go to your in-laws and explain to them in great details the laws of genetics and why I am not your daughter's father. Or why I am not your incestuous cousin either. _If you drop this conversation right now and pretend it never happened._"

Sasuke gave him a considering look over the rim of his coffee cup.

"... And I'll babysit the kids Saturday night."

"Three Saturday nights."

"You drive a hard bargain."

"Bargain about what?"

Kakashi was too cool to jump, so he didn't. He even managed to slide the kunai that had appeared into his hand back in the pouch before the newly arrived Naruto noticed. (Sasuke was laughing at him with his eyes, of course.)

"Hey Sensei. Hey bastard." They were sitting at the edge of the deck, feet dangling in the grass underneath. Naruto crouched between the two of them, propping up an elbow on Sasuke's shoulder for balance. "Bargain about what?"

Sasuke shrugged his shoulder in an attempt to pretend he minded the casual contact. "You free Saturday?"

"Sure, why?"

Sasuke grumbled at him. "Just like that. I'm free too."

"Hint, hint," Kakashi added helpfully. Sasuke kicked him.

"-- Oh! Are you asking me on a date?" Naruto grinned. "Sure! Anywhere you want, any position--"

"My, isn't that a rare Northern Purple-headed Finch?" Kakashi said, pointing at a pigeon.

Naruto scoffed a him. "Just because you're jealous you never got on one of our dates."

Kakashi only winced inwardly, but his students were so used to reading him through the mask and the neutral body language that the two brats snickered anyway.

"No, seriously, they're super-awesome. I bet you'd love them."

"... Pardon?"

Sasuke was considering Naruto in a vaguely quizzical way, but one that wasn't exactly a 'what the hell' yet. Naruto smirked back, fangy and evilly delighted. "Sakura's hogged you long enough, Sensei. I mean, we share everything else, right?"

The heavy-lidded look the blond gave Kakashi was mildly unsettling; as for Sasuke, he watched the scene with a thoughtful, weighing look that said nothing on his true thoughts but hinted a bit too much anyway.

Pointing out that Sakura did not have him to share and the very thought of befouling his student (any of them) in such a way gave him hives would be useless; he'd been doing so for the last, oh, however long it had been since Aoru was born, and it hadn't stopped Naruto yet. Kakashi was still considering an appropriate counterattack -- retreat was the better part of valor, right? No, that was discretion. Live to fight another day? -- when a distraction came from an unexpected quarter.

"Dad!" their eldest child called out, as the brood noticed Naruto. "When did you get home?!"

They rushed toward the deck, grinning and waving; Naruto unfolded from his crouch and stepped forward to meet them.

Aoru, being the youngest and the one with the least decorum, was also the fastest to rush to say hello. Naruto opened his arms wide and leaned down to pick her up.

"Daddy!" she cried happily, and entirely bypassed him to throw herself at Kakashi.

Naruto stood frozen in horror. Kakashi blinked placidly, and gave the grey-haired head butting against his chest a little pat.

"You -- you -"

"Oh hey Naruto," she added with a little wave.

Naruto opened and closed his mouth a couple of time, finger pointed accusingly at the tableau. At Kakashi's side, Sasuke was quietly suffocating with laughter.

Kakashi arched a quizzical eyebrow at the little girl on his lap. Aoru beamed up at him, sweet as you please. Then she hugged him around the neck in a move worthy of a cuteness award.

Naruto whimpered. "A-Aoru-chan, you know, he's not, I mean -- he's not _really_ your..."

The little girl gave him a pitying look and patted his hand. "It's okay, Naruto. I love you anyway."

Naruto opened his mouth, and closed it again.

"I think those two need a bath," Sasuke intervened serenely. Naruto snatched up the two leftover kids, made a horrible grimace at Kakashi and Sasuke, and stomped off, ranting under his breath about the traitorous ways of children.

Kakashi waited until the voice of the protesting pre-teen Naruto was handling like a sack of potatoes had faded in the distance.

"Kid? You know I'm not really your father, right?"

Aoru sat up, snorted disdainfully, and flipped her hair. "Duh. You know what _I_ know?"

"No?" he said dutifully.

"You owe me a LOT of candy."


	23. TemaIno, line in the sand

For Gladdecease/Meredith : Ino and Temari, on "this Shikamaru thing". This one is totally future!canon. Also, kinda flirting with a R-rating here. :cough: ... I love TemaIno, it has so much potential for hotness.  
(still prodding at that goddamn KyuuSaku fight scene, slowly chipping away at the problems...)

* * *

"Do you want me to stop seeing Shika?"

Ino tensed, kept her face carefully blank. "It's not my place to tell you so, is it? It's his choice."

Temari stepped up to the end of the counter and leaned an elbow on it, making Ino feel boxed in. She drawled, a bit mocking, "I didn't say I'd stop seeing him if you told me to."

Ino stiffened. "So you want to know what I think, but you're not going to take it into account. Gee, thanks."

Temari smirked. Ino felt like bristling; instead she went back to sorting flowers into piles on the end of the counter.

"Why do you bother asking?"

"Didn't say it wouldn't do anything. Just that I'm not going to dump him just because you ask."

Ino slanted her an angry look. "I don't care whether he fucks you or not. As long as he doesn't bring back a disease."

She'd been hoping to anger her, at least a little, but Temari only smirked more widely. "Scared of the Sand Bends? Bit late for that, hon."

Ino started at the unexpected pet name, turned to stare at her. Temari had abandoned her post, stalked closer with long, elastic steps.

She leaned into Ino's space right there in full view of the front window and whispered in her ear, "Or did you forget?"

Ino flushed despite herself. Argh! She couldn't let Temari get to her! She was just trying to take Shika away, with her... legs, and her lips, and her breath against Ino's ear, and that insinuating tone...

She fought not to remember that time in detail. Temari was right, if there had been a disease to pick up, Ino wouldn't have needed Shikamaru as intermediary. Because they'd -- "... Who knows what you picked up since then?" she managed to say, airy and just a tiny bit flustered.

Temari leaned in and bit her earlobe. Ino gasped, nipples painfully tight all of a sudden behind her flowershop apron.

"I could show you," she invited, deep voice deceptively soft. Ino shivered all over.

"-- I don't know if you've noticed -- but. He's not here."

And she minded, she minded a hell of a lot, because Shikamaru was her friend and teammate and potential boyfriend, and Temari was the girl who was better than Ino at everything and might take him away for good instead of only part-time, and she wasn't going to even look at Temari twice if she didn't have to when Shikamaru wasn't concerned.

And it didn't make things clench and warm in her belly when she thought of Temari's hands ruffling up her skirt.

"He's not here, yeah. But he'll be here soon. We should work on getting along, hm?"

Ino bristled again. The superiority dripping from those words...! She faced Temari fully -- nose to nose, way inside her space but she wasn't going to back down. "I'll get along with you as far as I need to, and not an inch further!" she snapped, finally drawing that line in the sand. Because Temari knew perfectly well Ino didn't like her even though Ino was social enough not to say it point blank, and she kept pushing and pushing and that was _enough_.

Temari was staring at her with disturbing intensity, eyes glittering -- challenge.

Interest.

"... Fair enough... So how far do you need to? In bed, for sure..." she said, voice low, laughing like a purr.

Ino clenched her fists and denied that other things were tightening along with them.

"Will you be polite out of it? ... Do you think he can't tell you don't like me?"

Ino's upper lip curled up in a sneer. "I was trying not to throw it in his face. It's called being polite."

"Don't do it anymore," Temari said, suddenly serious. "I like you better when you snipe than when you swallow it."

And then two hands slipped around her waist, settled on her ass, pulled her flush against Temari's body. Belly to belly, chest to chest, breasts pressed tight together, and Temari leaned in and kissed her, her tongue teasing Ino's lips right there at the counter where anyone could see.

Ino gasped, pushed against Temari's shoulder to keep her at bay, but the surprise tightened their grasp, and then she felt nails against the back of her thigh.

She was kissing back, she realized with a gasp, and broke away except there were those hands and that challenging look that meant she couldn't run. And she hissed, wound wiry dirty-blond hair around her fingers and tugged. "You--"

Temari laughed, low and knowing, and whispered against Ino's lips, "Shh, he's coming. Make it look pretty."


	24. Team Seven goes shopping

About 1800 words, Team Seven goes shopping.

Happens about one-two weeks after they've put the seal thing on Sakura, after the end of Teamwork 2 and Sakura's interlude where she asked Tsunade to teach her.

In other Teamwork news, I'm FINALLY working past my biggest hurdle in that evil chapter of doom (augh fight scenes haaaate) but it's slow-going. Kyuubi is being a bitch. I want to promise soon, but with my luck I'll run smack into another plothole. DX

* * *

And the day came when Tsunade let Sakura go early and so she wasn't too exhausted to notice that they were missing everything but bandages and instant ramen.

"Guys? When was the last time either of you went grocery shopping?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto. Naruto looked at Sasuke. Naruto grinned at her nervously. Sasuke looked vaguely startled.

"... You haven't been, huh?"

She wasn't even that surprised. In the last week they had developed a routine where they downed Sakura's stolen-from-Ino boxes of cereals in the morning, snacked on Sasuke-made rice balls at noon, and descended en masse on Naruto's favorite ramen shop when Tsunade let her go in the evening. Then the boys guided her as she dragged her feet home and she fell dead asleep until the next morning.

"There's enough rice for two more weeks," Sasuke said; he'd bought in bulk. Sakura was pretty sure that was more because he didn't want to waste time shopping than because he was trying to save money. "We're not going to die of hunger yet."

"There's nothing _but_ rice, Sasuke-kun."

"... It's filling, versatile, and cheap."

"It's _boring_," she replied. Naruto looked gleeful; Sakura bumped the top of his head with her knuckles to teach him not to find her berating Sasuke so entertaining. "No offense, Sasuke-kun -- if we were so poor we could only afford one item then rice would certainly be the best choice, but we're not, and we're going shopping."

Sasuke scowled in a vaguely mutinous way.

"We can pick up fish and vegetables for rice ball fillings," she added, conciliatory. "Along with dishwashing liquid and some more soap; I don't know if you've noticed but the only whole bar of soap left is my honey-scented one."

She had them out of the door before they were done grimacing.

She kept them distracted along the way with a steady stream of questioning on their afternoon activities -- D-ranks, physical conditioning, and more D-ranks. Turned out there wasn't a lot of positive things to say about four hours of pushups while Iruka's students practiced balance on moving objects on their backs, but ranting prevented them from bickering with each other or complaining that you didn't need three people to shop.

She just wanted to do things with them that weren't training or discussing missions. They didn't have any time to go on real dates, she knew that -- and it wasn't even really about dating. It was just that sometimes she felt as if they were roommates who happened to share a bed. She didn't even like the house very much, with its bedrooms too small for three; its main selling point was that she was living with them in it, but it wouldn't sell anything much if that promise of togetherness stayed empty.

She wanted... she didn't know. Domestic things. Even something as silly as washing dishes -- one at the sink, one with a drying cloth, and the last one teasing them to make the chore go by faster.

They couldn't bond over washing dishes together if they never ate at home. And they couldn't eat at home if they didn't have any food. And if they had food sitting in the fridge then that meant they had to cook it to avoid waste. And cooking was definitely another group activity.

"Whatcha grinning about?"

"You in an apron," she retorted, and grinned even harder because she wasn't even joking.

"Whoa, Sakura-chan, I never expected you to have that fantasy."

Naruto dodged preemptively, but the only punishment she gave him was a knowing smirk, which made him look twice as worried.

"... Uh. Sakura-chan?"

She arched her eyebrows, sending him a polite, bland, totally unreadable smile. "Oh, look, there's a grocery store."

"Hey, no, wait, what did that mean?!"

Sasuke was smirking behind them, and gave her a hint of an appreciative nod when she caught his eye.

The store wasn't very big, but it was the closest to the Uchiha district and pretty empty at this hour. Six aisles, a bored cashier, and seven housewives of varying ages...

"...We should probably have written a list," she said as she realized it was still big enough to be confusing.

Naruto shrugged and crossed his arms behind his head. "What for? Just look at everything as you walk around and you'll remember what's missing."

"Plus pick up a dozen things we don't need because you have no self-control," Sasuke retorted as he tucked a shopping basket into his elbow.

Sakura sighed. "We'll write a list for next time. We could stick it on the fridge and write things in as we remember, what do you think?"

They could make it a little tradition, she thought, one of the first of their life together. Because so far the house still felt as if they were camping in it rather than moved in. Perhaps they could even start writing each other notes and everything... 'Visiting Iruka tonight, don't worry if I'm late'; 'Going to be in Ino's district for a mission, will pick up that book for you'; 'We really need a pool! Let's start digging tomorrow.' Oh, she'd like that.

Sasuke shrugged; Naruto gave her a distracted "Yeah, sure" as he zeroed in on the ice cream. Sakura sighed, put her vague daydreams of daily love notes away, and went to the produce section.

They didn't attract too much attention at first -- just three teenagers in all likelihood planning for a party or a team mission. That pretty much ended when Naruto, who had wandered ahead of them, waved and called back; "Hey, Sasuke! What toothpaste brand do you want?"

He was attention-grabbing enough to get a couple of other shoppers to look up; but the real double-take didn't come until Sasuke replied, not loud exactly but in a voice made to carry across the shop to where Naruto was, "I don't care, I can use Sakura's."

She blushed, sure that they were completely transparent. Sharing a toothpaste tube -- a clear sign that they were living together! Well, at least she and Sasuke, which was flustering enough on its own.

Sasuke nudged her then, and gave her a puzzled frown. She was about to answer that it was nothing when Naruto called out again.

"Yeah, I don't care either. We should just buy jumbo size!"

... She'd only _thought_ she was blushing before. And she was aware that no one would probably care or even think twice about the fact three people were sharing one toothpaste tube if she could only not look so awkward, but that was a lost cause. She groaned, head hanging, as a grandma _blinked_ at them.

"Oh hey, there's a toy with this one! And it sparkles!"

Sasuke inclined his head toward her, tone caustic. "Do you ever feel like we're already parents?"

She groaned again, and then she laughed, giddy with the thought -- parents. Oh, who cared what random people in a grocery shop might deduce. "Only every other day. Put that down, Naruto, I'm not washing my teeth with anything that sparkles!"

"Aw, come on, I need to find out if they get stuck in the teeth."

Sasuke lightly bumped the shopping basket on Naruto's head when they joined him. "You just want the toy."

Naruto's lower lip jutted out. "No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"And now I'm a single mother with two kids," Sakura commented dryly. "Come on, guys. Soap, shampoo, toothpaste... What else do we need around here?"

"Sparkle toothpaste?"

"...What do we need that won't go to waste because it tastes like happy diabetes?"

They got toilet paper and insect repellent, a half-dozen real -- but kind of ugly -- plates to replace the cardboard ones, and had to put back the ice cream because they couldn't agree on the flavor and their fridge wasn't working so well anyway. Naruto made faces at Sasuke's tomatoes and Sakura made faces at Naruto's cereals and Sasuke pretended he wasn't making eyes at that apron. Sakura hoped very hard it was only because it reminded him of his mother's and not because he had some secret wish to actually wear the thing. She didn't think she would ever stop laughing if she ever saw him in it.

"... Sakura... I don't think you're going to need those anytime soon."

Sakura replaced the box of tampons back on the shelf and pretended one of the grandmas hadn't just harrumphed at her. "I was just -- looking at the picture," she mumbled.

"I'm sure," Sasuke said with a smirk. Naruto sneakily took her hand and squeezed.

She squeezed back, and nudged Sasuke with her elbow in revenge. "Oh, like you never get distracted."

"I don't," he replied primly.

"Of course not!" Naruto agreed. "He broods instead. Let's hope the kid won't come out of the womb already gazing into the distance all soulful-like."

Sasuke's lips twitched in what he would probably deny was trying to be a smile. "It would be less wrong than if he gazes into the women's onsen."

"-- Hey, what does that mean? You're thinking of Jiraiya, not me. I don't do that stuff."

Sakura _looked_ at him.

"...Anymore. Shut up. And maybe it'll be a girl, so hah! She won't even have to look over any walls to ogle."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, dumping incense in the basket. "She's not even born and you already think she'll be a lesbian."

Naruto huffed and crossed his arms. "_I'm_ ready to be supportive. You're the one already thinking she'll be a man. Yeah, that's not gonna give her gender issues at all."

Sasuke rolled his eyes again and huffed.

"To be fair," Sakura interjected, "female _is_ the default gender, at the most basic developmental level."

"Hah! I win." Naruto pumped his fist in the air.

"For now."

Sighing loudly, Sakura surveyed the rest of the shop. Nothing else came to mind, and a few too many people seemed to be at just the right distance to listen in. It might have been her paranoia talking.

"There's aisles we haven't checked out," Naruto noticed.

Sasuke eyed the contents of his basket. "Anything else will just be superfluous crap. Coming, Sakura?"

She smiled, and nodded. Yes. They had the essentials.

On the way to the cashier she grabbed one of those silly bird-shaped fridge magnets with a tiny notepad included.

It was entirely necessary. Maybe not immediately obvious, but necessary anyway. They might never write her love notes -- or for that matter remember to mention that broken door handle that needed changing or keep track of their food stocks; but _she_ would. From now on, it would be her tradition.

On the way back home she composed the first note in her head. 'Naruto, it's been a week and that mirror is still smudged with your handprint, were you finger-painting or something? Clean it up. Sasuke-kun, will you _please_ fix the broken lamps in the dojo already? Not everyone can see in the dark. And there's ink to sand out of the wooden floor, which has been here for about two weeks now. Hint, hint?

Love, Sakura.'

There. Entirely necessary.


	25. SasuJin, Aroused

_Done for my kissing meme, where people gave me a pairing and a mood and I wrote them a kiss. (Closed now.) Coffeecrisis asked for **Kagami Jin/Sasuke**, **prompt: Aroused**. ... So um. It's originalcharacter/canoncharacter making out, borderline OOC, not very logical when you think about it, and also VERY MUCH not canon for Teamwork. It's just a total fanservice tidbit that was rather fun to write._

In other news, NEXT TEAMWORK CHAPTER IS COMPLETE, BOOYAH. It's now at the beta reader's getting fixed, and will be posted, um, I hope in under a week, but I really don't know. But soon! :does the dance of yay:

_Kagami Jin might look very girly (see profile for pics/character sheets of Teamwork OCs), but he is the only boy of Team Kunoichi, so this is in fact yaoi. Woohoo._

* * *

"...You. The kunoichi."

"My name is Jin," Jin snapped, crossing his arms over his narrow chest. He gave the young man glaring at him a suspicious look. He knew Uchiha by reputation, of course -- who didn't? -- and by their meeting at the Chuunin exam last year. That didn't tell him what the hell the guy wanted, especially not with his cheeks flushed, his chest heaving as if he'd run for twenty miles, and his eyes red and flashing angrily.

"I don't care what your name is."

... yeah, definitely angry. Offended, even. Jin started calculating an escape route. "If my teammates have hit on yours, it's not my fault. I'm not their keeper, you know."

A second later his back slammed against the closest wall, feet off the ground. Jin choked and twisted his wrist so the knife up his sleeve slid in his hand, but Uchiha grabbed his wrist and forced it against the wall, too.

"What the hell?!" he protested, kicking; but Uchiha only stepped up close so he didn't have any space to build up momentum enough to hurt.

"... Just answer this question."

Uchiha didn't look very heavy, but he was all muscles and he had the leverage, and he pressed against Jin's body from chest to hips, trapping him thoroughly. Jin went still; there was nothing to do now but to wait for an opening.

"Did you, or did you not, help your teammates with that batch of cookies?"

Jin blinked. "--beg pardon?" Cookies, cookies, what on earth -- oh. The ones Kigane had been making for that party... where Uchiha's teammates were also invited...

"Help is a big word, but -- I guess? I was in the kitchen with them."

Uchiha was still flushed with offense, and when Jin answered, his eyes narrowed predatorily. The black dots in his blood-red irises started spinning in a very disconcerting manner. Jin shivered, a little too aware of the potential for violence in every single muscle of his body.

"Were you, or were you not, working on _job-related_ drugs at the time?"

Jin's breath hitched, and his self-righteous anger faltered.

He'd been working on aphrodisiacs.

Suddenly he was certain that if he managed to wriggle a few inches down Uchiha's body, he would find out his biceps weren't the only part of him that was hard and ready.

Considering his personality, Uchiha was still more likely to punch Jin in the face than rape him, though. Which was good. Great! But he'd rather not get punched in the face at all. He let his eyes widen in shocked guilt, swallowed nervously.

"I -- I..."

He turned his face away, allowing a few wisps of smoke-gray hair to shadow his eyes, moved in Sasuke's hold -- it looked accidental, except that it pressed him against Uchiha 's lower body in a way that made Uchiha press back, totally by reflex. Uchiha looked torn between a startled awareness of how close they were -- good! -- and disdain -- not good. What had Jin done wrong? He tried to analyze what he knew.

... Right, the guy didn't think much of kunoichi in general. Being simple and direct might be easier than trying to play on his macho protector strings; as far as Jin knew he didn't have any.

"... Hell, I'm sorry. I should have known better. I'm pretty sure I'd cleaned up, but just on principle I shouldn't have left food and that kind of product in the same room."

Especially with Ki and Beni around. He was sure he hadn't touched the goddamn cookies, but he didn't put either of them past helping themselves to his stuff. Saying so, though -- that would sound like he was trying to pass the blame and only make Uchiha angrier.

"... You okay?"

The guy growled something wordless but thoroughly pissed off, and his fists clenched. Okay, stupid question.

So Jin cupped his hands around Uchiha's face and pressed their mouths together, because if he didn't redirect that violence now he was going to end up too damaged to work. (Also it would hurt like a bitch.)

He'd been sure Uchiha despised him too much to get all that carried off, and that he'd tear himself away and glare at Jin for daring to seduce him -- but Jin must have underestimated the efficiency of his own drugs, because Uchiha made a startled grunt and pressed closer, crushing Jin between his body and the wall. His hands fisted in Jin's collar, dragging his head lower, and suddenly Jin had a tongue in his mouth and a body between his thighs, and -- and there must have been drugs still in Uchiha's mouth because for a moment when he groaned in response and wound an arm around Uchiha's shoulders he wasn't faking.

Uchiha growled low in his throat as he plunged his tongue in, hard and domineering and wet, and Jin didn't find that kind of thing sexy, never had, but he trembled anyway. His toes barely brushed the ground, so since he couldn't kick off he folded his legs up, squeezed Uchiha's hips, told himself it was to get a measure of control in the way their groins pressed together.

Uchiha broke the kiss without warning, tangled his hand in Jin's long hair, growled in Jin's ear. "I should make you help me work it off."

Jin shivered again, and again told himself that asshole he-men were only the type he _pretended_ to like, whenever he was on the job. He, Kagami En-jin -- he didn't like guys at all. He liked girls, pretty girls, shy girls. Not guys who walled you and then threatened to molest you even though you knew they wouldn't, not really, and shit, definitely leftovers aphrodisiacs. Because he'd learned to tolerate getting manhandled like that, but not on his days off, goddamn it.

But that raw intensity... As unsettling as it was, he was caught in it. It would be so easy to let it carry him away. Jin swallowed thickly and searched for the right words, the right buttons to push to end this whole thing on the spot.

"Sure. You got money? I'm not cheap, you know."

Sasuke snatched his hand out of Jin's hair as if he'd been burned. For a second their bodies stayed together, because Jin's knees were still squeezing Uchiha's hips, and he blushed hotly when he realized. He stumbled against the wall as he let go with great hurry.

Uchiha stood facing him, fists clenched tight, eyes narrowed, already suspicious of his words. Jin hid his relief best as he could, gave him a sultry smile, full of promises.

Without another word, Uchiha turned on his heels and stalked off. Jin waited until he'd disappeared past the corner to slump down the wall and curl up, forehead pressed to his knees.

Uchiha would have never known Jin was involved with the stupid cookies without someone babbling. Never known where to find him. Jin didn't care how drunk his teammates were, he was going to kill Ki and Beni dead, and burn their corpses, and salt their graves, and piss on those for good measure.

It would keep until later, though. He had to take a cold shower first anyway.


	26. Earth Country, two years later

About two years post-Teamwork 2. Still no spoilers for the gender and paternity of the baby. :p

As for Teamwork 3, the next chapter is in progress. Though as always I have no idea how long it'll take to be done.

* * *

"Foxlet still asleep?" Naruto asked quietly.

Sasuke closed the bedroom door behind him with a soft click. "Yes. The trip was tiring."

Naruto gave an incredulous snort. "Yeah, I'll say." He paused, breathed in. "Good. Okay... Now what the _hell _are you doing here."

Sasuke shrugged and stepped deeper in the little living room. The room was dark, small windows dug through stone walls two feet deep, roof low. A little claustrophobic. Sakura stood with her arms crossed against the front door, an unfamiliar silhouette with her full-length dark leggings and the Chuunin jacket she so rarely wore, her forehead protector for once in its place instead of in her hair. Naruto wore the jacket too, zipped half-closed onto a black undershirt Sasuke had never seen on him. The weather in Earth Country tended to be colder than back home.

They both looked a little drawn, a little ... not exactly unhappy. Tired. Bracing themselves, mostly.

"You weren't in danger, you said," Sakura prompted him softly.

Sasuke stepped up to the small round table Naruto was sitting at and pulled out a chair for himself. "No. There's no more danger back home than usual, as far as I know."

Sakura frowned, glancing at the window with a hint of professional paranoia. "So, here?"

Shrugging, Sasuke sat and reclined against the back of his chair. "Not that I know."

She frowned a little deeper, puzzled, vaguely annoyed at his avoidance. "So you just skipped town because...?"

For a second Sasuke almost said 'never mind' and grabbed their child and went back home. For a second only, because he'd be damned if he had bothered with all the visas and spent nine days on the road with a toddler, only to run back home with his tail between his legs.

"Naruto," he said -- body language casual, eyes totally serious.

Naruto straightened up a little, both elbows on the table, looking vaguely alarmed.

Sasuke smirked; he couldn't help it. "Will you be my concubine?"

It took the two of them a full three seconds before they erupted in 'What?!'. Sasuke let his smirk fade into a faint, entertained smile as Naruto and Sakura interrupted each other trying to demand what the hell he was on about. In the end he just pointed in silence toward the bedroom door, where their child slept. They fell silent, but they were both scowling at him.

"Sasuke, it's a poor time to make jokes," Sakura said with forced calmness.

"Yeah, it is," he agreed. "It's not a joke."

"Sure sounds like one!" Naruto replied, eyes still a little wide. "I can't figure out whether you came all the way over here just to have a laugh at my expense or if you just cracked in the two months we've been gone."

Sasuke shrugged. "Fire Country doesn't allow male concubines. Earth Country does."

"... You've cracked."

Sasuke snorted. "No, I haven't."

Sakura shook her head in bewilderment. "You came all the way here--"

"Sakura. I'm on parental leave. I have _nothing_ to do back home apart from raising our child and attending Council meetings I don't have enough seniority to influence anyway. If I want to take a vacation, why does it matter where I go?"

She snorted and gave him a dry look. "I bet they were pleased with your reasoning."

Sasuke gave a snort. "Tsunade knows I'll come back. If she doesn't object, no one else has any grounds to."

"Wait wait wait. Did you ask the old hag for permission to -- did you _tell _her you --"

"Planned to ask for your hand in marriage?" Sasuke finished. He couldn't help it, he smirked again. Naruto's weariness was gone, replaced by horror. "Oh, I might have mentioned that..."

"Sasuke, you _bastard_!"

Sasuke's laughter came freely out, amused and vaguely fond. The twin owlish stares his lovers gave him pulled a second chuckle out of Sasuke.

God, but he'd missed them.

They must have seen it in his face, in the way his laughter died, because then Naruto's eyes softened and Sakura reached across the table to cover his hand with hers.

"... What is this about, Sasuke, really?" Sakura asked softly, her thumb rubbing against his knuckles.

He stared down at the table -- at her hand on his, at Naruto's fists. He could tell so much just watching those fists -- the tilt of the wrist, the loose clench -- uncertainty more than anger, some defensiveness, a hint of desperation.

"It's the closest we'll ever get to marriage. Seeing as how you didn't have the good taste to be born a woman, and the Konoha concubine laws only allow those cases where offspring could happen."

Naruto spluttered briefly. "What the hell. What the _hell_? ... the hell."

A corner of Sasuke's lip quirked up. "Eloquent."

"Fuck you."

"That'd be adultery right now."

Sakura sighed quietly, ending their half-hearted banter. "It won't be legal anyway -- not here and not back home. You're not Earth Country citizens."

Sasuke shook his head. "It's not about the paperwork. It's about the ceremony." He took a deep breath. "It's about how I haven't seen you two for two months and I won't see you two for another half year, because some fucking asshole back home has it in his head that if you two are far enough then maybe if he's lucky you'll get killed, and at the very least I'll forget you exist and his daughter can swoop in!"

Naruto stiffened. "... What?"

Sakura didn't look half as surprised, gaze cool and slightly disdainful. "Huh. So they finally accepted that you weren't divorcing me anytime soon, then?"

Sasuke muttered something unflattering under his breath. "Yeah. You're totally unsuitable to breed Uchihas with, of course, but I should be allowed my one fancy, and if I want to call you my wife it doesn't matter in the long run so long as all my descendents have the Sharingan and my name. Except Naruto is a bad influence on me, and you're enabling him, and that's why I haven't bestowed my genes on half a dozen 'acceptable young ladies' yet."

Naruto's claws left gouges in the table as the realization hit him. "You mean they sent us away because they thought if we were gone long enough you'd _forget about us_? Because we're distracting you from knocking up a dozen high-born bitches?"

Sasuke nodded perfunctorily, eyes cold and very far from amused. "Basically. I assume they believed that without the two of you to distract me with your fun little perversions I'd be bored enough to do my duty."

Sakura gave a disgusted snort. "At least they're acknowledging we're a long-term toy now, I suppose."

Naruto scowled darkly for a few seconds, and then let out an explosive sigh and rubbed his brow. "At least you didn't cross three countries for a romantic gesture. That would kinda mess with my brain."

Sasuke's eyes slid away.

"...You crossed three countries for a _romantic gesture_?"

Sasuke took his hand back from Sakura so he could cross his arms over his chest. "It's also a political fuck-you gesture."

"_You crossed three fucking countries for a romantic gesture_?!"

"So fucking what?!"

They glared at each other over the table, both jumping on their feet, chairs pushed away. Sakura groaned as she watched them, holding her forehead.

"You want a romantic gesture? I'll give you one." Eyes burning, figurative hackles up, Sasuke stalked around the table. Then he shoved Naruto in the window alcove, making the blond stumble and sit down rather brutally, grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him.

He kissed him until Naruto started responding, and then he kissed him some more, tongue and teeth, until they were breathing hard in each other's mouth. He planted a hand on the cold glass to push back enough to break the kiss, and he loomed over Naruto, and glared for a second.

Then as Naruto stared up with his cheeks flushed and a totally bewildered look on his face, Sasuke picked up Naruto's hand, and brushed his lips against his knuckles.

"Marry me, asshole."

Laughter exploded out of the three of them. Naruto crumpled against Sasuke's chest, howling insults in between two laughing fits; Sakura clung to his arm and pounded her fist on his shoulder as she desperately tried to breathe. Sasuke laughed with them, eyes closed, almost silent but unable to stop.

"... That was the suckiest proposal I've ever heard in my _life_," Naruto said with a last chuckle. "Bastard."

Sasuke arched an eyebrow at his lover. "So you're saying no?"

"_I'm_ saying if we woke up the baby I'm going to hurt you," Sakura threatened halfheartedly.

She went to peek through the bedroom door, still stifling chuckles. Sasuke stood still and allowed Naruto to wind an arm around his waist and tug him forward so he could rest his cheek against Sasuke's chest comfortably.

Sakura came back smiling softly, wormed her way in the narrow alcove beside Naruto. Her arm slipped around Naruto's neck; she leaned her head into Sasuke's arm when he rested it around her shoulders.

Sasuke allowed himself to unwind, for the first time in exactly two months and four days.

"... You think it'll change much, if we do that ceremony thing? I mean, if it's not legal..."

"It'll prove he's serious, at least," Sakura replied, eyes closed.

Sasuke muttered, "I don't care what they think. Not doing it for them."

"So you're doing it for _me_? Ooh, Sasuke-kun." Naruto fluttered his eyelashes at him. "I'm gonna hold this over your head for ever and ever."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and tugged on his hair halfheartedly. Then, since his hand was already curled against the back of Naruto's neck, he left it there.

"... Now you guys know what we need?"

Sasuke rubbed his thumb against Sakura's jaw. "Hmm?"

She wrapped a leg around his, hooking the back of his knee to tug him a little closer. "We need to find a country that allows me to have two husbands. It's a little frustrating how if I wanted Naruto to become my husband I'd have to be your widow first."

"...Yeah, I'd rather avoid that as well," Sasuke deadpanned.

Naruto let out a chuffing laugh. "Why? Mm, necrophilia."

Sakura gave him a prim, disappointed look. "Don't be silly, Naruto, he'd turn mushy too fast. We'd never find a jar big enough to pickle him properly."

Sasuke growled and tugged on pink and blond locks. "Idiots."

Sakura looked up at him, eyes shining with amused tenderness. "Yes, you're an idiot too."

Naruto lifted his head from Sasuke's chest and arched his eyebrows at her. "I thought you thought our secret macho I-love-you code was too retarded for you?"

Embarrassed, Sasuke knocked his knuckles on Naruto's head and muttered, "Hey, no saying it out loud. You're in violation."

"I'm getting the hang of it," Sakura replied to Naruto, laughing. "Though I think anything above 'silly' is much too manly for me. You big virile he-men, you."

There was a moment of silence as they held each other. The windowsill was cold, and the room itself; but they weren't.

"Hey... If I'm your concubine, then you're my what? Do I get to call you hubby too?"

Sasuke gave him a haughty look, and smirked. "I think the traditional term is master."

Naruto gave his stomach a shove. "Yeah, how about I call you my ex instead."

Then there were more kisses, and more shoves, and eventually they got to find out that Earth Country houses might be cold and dark, but Earth Country chimneys were perfectly warm and Earth Country rugs were of more than adequate thickness.

The next morning, when Sakura and Naruto had to return to the Fire Country ambassador they were guarding, Sasuke put their child on his shoulders and went looking for a priest.


	27. drabbles Foxplay prequel and sequel

_Written for a drabble meme on LJ, someone requested a prequel to Foxplay, that old Kyuubi/Sasuke porny fic. (link's in my profile. One of these days I should go and rewrite it, but eh, too lazy to do it now.) The drabbles are, alas, not porny, but they do imply a bit. _

* * *

"Sasuke. Psst, Sasuke!"

He finished his kata and glanced over his shoulder. Naruto was peering past the corner of the house, throwing wary looks all around. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"Shh!" Naruto signaled frantically for him to quiet down. Sasuke rolled his eyes again and ambled his way through the grass to him.

"What am I hiding from Sakura this time around?"

Naruto stared at him. "How d'you --"

"Who else?"

"... Oh. Um. Yeah." Naruto ruffled his hair, embarrassed. "Alright um yeah. Er. It's, uh."

Sasuke tilted his head a little bit. Was Naruto _blushing_? Interesting. "Hurry up. I want to go back to training sometime today."

"I promised Kyuubi an afternoon out," he blurted out, just as Sasuke was gearing up to ask if he was trying to get Sasuke to play harem boy for Sakura again. (The answer would have been no, because he was no harem boy for anyone. ...Also they'd done it last month already, he didn't care how pregnant and grumpy Sakura was.)

"And, er, I mean, he did swear, and I'm gonna keep watch anyway and everything, and if I didn't trust his word by now I'd say no, no matter what, but... I'd still prefer if someone could keep an eye on him, and there's no one else who could even make him pause a minute. So. Can you?"

Sasuke didn't reply right away, less to make Naruto wait than because his throat was suddenly too dry.

"... Sasuke?"

"Nnh," he replied.

"...is that a no? Are you really -- shit! I knew the bastard hurt you more than you were saying last ti--"

"Okay," Sasuke interrupted. "Now?"

Naruto blinked. "I thought you were bus--"

Sasuke kicked him and pretended he wasn't starting to breathe a little fast. "Shut up and let's go already."

* * *

_And then they requested a drabble for the aftermath. :shakes fist at:  
(by the way, a kotatsu is a low table with a blanket all around and a heater underneath; you sit on the floor around it)_

* * *

"I'm not healing you."

Sasuke couldn't have kept his eyes from hooding, his lips from stretching into a feline, satisfied smile if he'd tried. He settled gingerly on his cushion and stretched his legs under the kotatsu, leaned on both elbows, rounded his back until it popped.

"I'm not asking you to."

Sakura threw a pen at him. He let it bounce off his shoulder, not even moving, met her glare with barely veiled amusement.

"There are days I really hate you, Sasuke-kun."

"Mm-hm."

He was sore down to his little toes, and his bite marks still throbbed at odd intervals. As for sitting, even the cushion couldn't make that even remotely comfortable. He shifted to lean on his hip, eyelashes making the world hazy.

Sakura glared at him for a moment longer, and then stared glaring at her half-written letter. She was blushing.

"... Come here and massage my back already."

"Mm-hm," he acquiesced, and took the time to stretch his arms and his back before he went, on hands and knees.


	28. Sakura and Naruto FINALLY get hitched

_For FateofShadow, who asked for Tsunade plus Sakura and Naruto finally getting hitched, and who was supposed to get a DRABBLE damn you what part of this is a DRABBLE. D: :shakes fist at:  
Anyway, this is a sequel of sorts to the Two Years Later ficlet where Sasuke asks Naruto to become his concubine while in Earth Country.  
Marriage ideas came from RurouniTriv, Bookpeople, Gladdecease, and Freed Wings._

* * *

Under the Rokudaime's rule Konoha extended its peaceful influence far afield, to countries Tsunade had never even heard of in her childhood, who most civilians her age had never heard of even now, too concerned with threats closer to home.

Tsunade might have been pushing seventy, but she was still strong enough to fight and their country had so many allies, nothing much stopped her successor, her student, and that man they both called "husband" from wandering off - Naruto to sign treaties, Sasuke to guard him, and Sakura... ah, an advisor, she called herself, but every time she came back Tsunade was waiting with tea heating up and a chuckle already building in her throat.

"Master!" Sakura said brightly when she walked in that afternoon, hair a bleached shade of rose, skin tanned dark and faint white lines at the corner of her eyes like she'd spent all that time in the sun glaring at something. She sat when Tsunade waved her toward her chair, grinning like she wanted to bite.

"So how did it go?"

"Do you remember how sad it was that I couldn't marry Naruto in Konoha without being Sasuke's widow first? Well, it turns out I had a lot of free time during this trip..."

In other words, her line of inquiry had been a big bust.

"So on the way back I got thinking about Konoha laws! It says something like 'cannot remarry until their first spouse has died,' doesn't it? But I bet it doesn't say anything about the second marriage being invalidated if said first spouse was revived afterwards."

Tsunade smothered her laughter in her cup of tea. "I think Uchiha might object."

Sakura let out a long, fake sigh. "I think he might, too. Selfish of him, huhn. I knew I should have waited a little longer to fix him last time. Oh well, I'm sure there'll be other assassins."

* * *

The first time had been almost fifteen years ago, as Tsunade sent her chosen successor on his first solo diplomatic mission. Some lost valley in the mountains, well past the farthest reaches of Wind Country. Sakura had heard of their polyandrous habits and immediately - blushing, but determined - started campaigning to be allowed to go with. Their first and second children had been old enough to stay at their grandparents' for a couple of months then; Tsunade had given her permission and Team Seven had jauntily marched off.

When they came back Naruto was frowning, Sasuke so blank-faced it was a wonder he still bothered to breathe, and Sakura trailing her own metaphorical little raincloud.

It turned out their habit of marrying one woman to several men had been born from damaged reproductive abilities, due to being locked away in their same little valley for the last couple of centuries. The men allied in co-husband groups of three or four - good! - and bartered, schemed, and fought others for possession of their women. And then, once "married" to those women, they locked them up so they wouldn't get knocked up by some other brotherhood. Which was so far past not good, Sakura had no words for it. She'd been livid all the way home.

"So... No marriage then?" Shizune had ventured.

Sakura had let loose a torrent of recriminations that boiled down to 'I would rather become a _nun _than support that mindset by getting married there', which was the end of it - the end of mentioning that particular little trip, at least.

* * *

The next couple of countries had laws similar to those home, so there was no extra-curricular eloping. But the one after those was far over the ocean, an ancient country, hot and lazily powerful, and while most of the leaders over there were kings, there were some queens and princesses who did more with the title than simply being the spouse of. And in deference to them, a woman could have more than one recognized, legally sanctioned lover.

There was this one last hurdle, though...

Later, Sakura found it funny enough to tell Tsunade, who laughed until she gave herself a coughing fit.

"So the blond hunk is snipped, huh? A shame. He'd have made you strapping children."

A woman of high rank could have several legal, bonded lovers - if all but one were eunuchs.

"... Oh, yes, I can _see _that you aren't, young man. Haha, it would have been strange if the nominal leader was ... my apologies, I meant no insult. The pretty one then? I must have misunderstood, girl, I thought you said he was your _husband_. Haha, how silly of me. I should have know, he _does _look a bit..."

They were pretty lucky to come back home without a new war on their hands, Sakura had to admit.

* * *

After that for ten years or so Naruto had duties closer to home, and then Sakura had Aoru-chan, and she stopped entertaining Tsunade with the tales of her grand quest to get hitched again. She mostly busied herself with taking over the hospital and becoming Naruto's first in-village political advisor - two full-time jobs on their own, even without "mother of three" on top.

There was that matrilineal clan over in Cloud Country, though, which rekindled that little flame in her eyes - a tradition born of a female-carried bloodline. It required genetic diversity, and the women were the bottlenecks, hence several husbands each.

Alas, Sakura had no bloodline, so she was disqualified from the get-go.

"But if your husband, who does have a bloodline, can also use _that jutsu_," the old woman leader conceded, grittiness briefly turning into something akin to religious awe, "then as a gesture of good faith and friendship between our people, and of thanks to Hokage Naruto-sama (may he have thirty daughters) we will allow Sasuke of the Uchiha to marry you both."

Team Seven went home with a new treaty, and they'd only asked to be taught the Sexy no Jutsu for it. Alas, Sasuke was a selfish bastard, and so Sakura still went home with only one husband.

* * *

When the travelers crossed the Elemental Countries, Naruto went to meet them, came back delighted - if a little weirded out - by their above-and-beyond adherence to principles of peace, love, freedom, and tolerance.

Men could marry other men, women could marry other women, their cousins, their religious ministers, and their best friends' boyfriends. Oh, and outsiders not of their own ethnicity or country, too. There was no such thing as an outsider in their point of view, only a neighbor you hadn't yet met.

Naruto was made a honorary citizen of the City That Never Stops Drifting Because The World Is So Vast And We Ought To See And Admire It All. Sakura was grinning from the second the garland of flowers was passed around his neck.

Problem being the High Priestess and the President In Chief also wanted the ability to marry _Sakura's husbands_.

There was such a thing as being _too _generous and selfless.

* * *

Sakura seemed to give up her little crusade after that. Tsunade watched with some amusement as she redirected her energies toward other pursuits - putting medic-nins into each team, Tsunade's old personal crusade, creating cross-country information lines about epidemics and their vaccines and treatments, nudging forward the equality of sexes...

In all the upheavals that the Rokudaime Hokage and his teammates had introduced into the country in his last twenty years of rule, the abolishment of gendered language into Konoha's own laws passed almost unnoticed.

Three days later a petition to the Hokage for the right of the Haruno clan to an heir of their own landed on the Hokage's desk.

"I don't get it," said Naruto.

"It means my marriage contract to Sasuke meant any children born under its umbrella would be Uchihas, no matter who actually fathered them, but that's only if there's no _other _contract - if the Harunos are recognized as a clan instead of an everyday garden-variety family then as the Haruno heir I could have official concubines of my own."

"... Oooh. It'll work?"

Sakura beamed at him. "Unless you've pissed off the Shourisha clan recently..."

Later she barged in Tsunade's office, brandishing the stamp-covered paperwork, green eyes gleaming behind their little round glasses.

"FINALLY! Oh god, _finally_."

Tsunade squinted as she read, and then nodded, amused and a little proud that Sakura would have engineered a whole social revolution rather than let go of her goal. "I take it this is the end of our little tea sessions?"

"Oh, I'm sure I'll find more reasons to come visit you. Like, er, say..."

"Alright, what have you done now."

Sakura sat, trying badly to pretend to be annoyed. Her eyes were still bright, still so fierce and so young. "Oh, it's Naruto, you know how he is..."

"Don't stall."

"Well, he asked me if that meant our next children would be named Haruno. And, well, yes, that's exactly what it means, except for a small, niggling detail - _menopause_."

"Which would be grounds for refusal of your request by the Council," Tsunade pointed out, only because she could see Sakura coming from a mile away.

Sakura grimaced at her. "They've got enough grounds for that anyway. It's mostly just silly legalese and twisty loopholes, and the idea of a first-gen family becoming a clan is laughable, but I'm pretty sure the Council will approve it just so their Hokage stops flaunting the fact that he's someone's side dish. They're going to give this shiny bit of polite fiction the go-ahead because it's the most respectable they'll ever make Naruto look. BUT ANYWAY," she said, forging ahead.

"Yes?" Tsunade asked, as if she didn't know where her student of twenty years was going.

"Well. Naruto and Sasuke miss having kids. Young ones, I mean. They're all grown and out of the house now..."

Tsunade took a sip of tea, noncommittal. "I'm sure. That must be hard."

"... _Masteeeeeer_."

Tsunade relented, eyes laughing, though her face kept looking stern. "I _might _have some ideas of how to get around that little menopause problem, if you can find the funds for the necessary research at the hospital..."

Sakura beamed at her. "Great! I have a lot of those, too."

She looked down at the official decree, caressed the red stamps. Tsunade could see it on her face - the silly 'official' approval that shouldn't have meant half as much as it ended up meaning for the balance of her relationship.

Naruto and Sasuke's concubine/husband bond wasn't even legal in Fire Country, yet how it had galled her to leave things undone - done only twice. How much she had needed to correct that last imbalance, to bridge that last divide.

Then she looked up, and she smiled that bright, harsh smile that meant there were still heights to be conquered.

"While we're pioneering new medical jutsu, what do you say about making a child with two genetic fathers? I was thinking, if we emptied an ovum and then merged two sperm cells..."


	29. another Foxplay sequel, naruto POV

_For this one, the request I had noted down in my file was "foxplay narusasu morning after." I already wrote one sequel before so that kinda limited what I could do with it, so this is more threesomely-with-more-focus-on-Sasuke than narusasu per se. But hey. threesome 'verse. _

_Warning for Naruto thinking rather openly about sex and topping and bottoming and issues of consent and sado-masochism - this DOES follow Foxplay. Not really worksafe, but no explicit, graphic sex in here either._

* * *

Naruto only wakes up when he shifts in his sleep and the pillow falls off his face. Sunlight is filling the bedroom, bright all over, and from the wrong angle.

Oh. It's two in the afternoon. No wonder he's alone in bed.

He's kinda hungry and he _really _needs to piss, so he rolls off the mattress and pads to the door. Bathroom's next door - that's his next stop.

He's standing there with his penis in hand thinking about nothing in particular except a relieved kind of "aaaah", and then next thing he knows he's having purry thoughts at the memory of being inside Sasuke.

Which is always great, but was especially great yesterday, when he was letting Kyuubi drive. Sasuke sure seemed to think so, at any rate, and the memory of his unfocused eyes and the way his back arched like he couldn't control himself anymore is even hotter to him than the pleasure he/Kyuubi felt.

(It's something they still don't agree on, he and Kyuubi, no matter how close they grow. Naruto likes to top because blowing his partner's mind blows his _own_ mind, because being able to give that to someone, knowing he's the one taking care of them, making them feel so good, is sheer awesome. He can't help but feel incredibly grateful for getting a chance at it. Kyuubi likes to dominate because it's his rightful place.)

But Sasuke likes to take it a bit rougher than Naruto likes to give it, so in a way Naruto giving him Kyuubi was _still _meeting Sasuke's needs. Which is why Naruto is still lazily satisfied with how things went, until he looks down at his dick and remembers it streaked with blood.

Suddenly he's a little more awake. He tucks himself back in and to the stairs he goes, badum-badum-thump. A little blood can spread a lot and skin splitting a bit during vigorous sex - well, that happens sometimes, but Kyuubi is a sadist and would Sasuke even tell him no? Would Kyuubi listen, or just think 'nah, he still likes it, just playing hard to get'? Would he believe it so much that Naruto - inside him, wrapped in his mind, watching and hearing it all colored through with the way the fox sees the world - would believe it as well?

Sometimes Sasuke says no, and means 'I want you to make me.' (It pisses Sakura off, but he still says it, and Naruto still ignores it.) Sometimes he does mean no. Naruto's got a feel for it by now (also when he gets it wrong, well, the way Sasuke decks him when he really means it is unmistakable), but... But. There's a sour taste in the back of his mouth as he scans the living room and finds no one.

"Guys?" he calls. With her huge belly it's become rarer for Sakura to leave the house. He was expecting to find her at the kotatsu, writing a letter or poking at some kind of paperwork. She could tell him where Sasuke went... but she's not there. She was, recently enough, there's an ink well and loose sheets on the table.

"Sakura-chan? ... Sasuke?" He steps toward the kitchen, just in case, though he can see most of it over the counter that separates it from the living room. Maybe they're in the garden. He'd sniff the air but it's a lost cause, their scents are everywhere and -

- oh. Okay, he recognizes that scent. Yeah. No way in hell can he misunderstand it. So when he turns back to the living room, and finally notices two pairs of bare legs emerging from the end of the couch...

Ngh.

They're curled together, Sasuke on his back and Sakura tucked against his side, loose limbs and heavy eyelids as they gaze up at him. Funny how colors and shapes are so different - green and pink versus black, flat planes and tight muscles contrasted with the swells and curves of impending motherhood - but their faces express the same thing, all lazy-mysterious and satisfied, and maybe a little smug. _Ooh, we so did get it on, and it's your own damn fault you weren't there and didn't even get to watch_.

He's getting hard before he even realizes it's half from the relief of not finding Sasuke hateful and traumatized. Or Sakura resentful from being abandoned.

"Uh. Good morning?"

"Good afternoon," Sakura corrects, but lazily, and she doesn't even pretend to attempt to hide her breasts even though it's full daylight and they're on the ground floor where anyone could walk by and see. Sasuke's eyes are almost closed; he watches Naruto through his eyelashes and it's unfair how long and dark they are, how smug he looks.

Naruto leans over the back of the couch and steals kisses. Sakura giggles against his mouth; Sasuke merely accepts his own kiss, lips parting and tongue flicking out like a come-on. He tastes like he went down on Sakura and Naruto whimpers because that's like his number one fantasy.

... Along with Sakura riding him in that short tight skirt with her hands in his hair and forgetting to be embarrassed, and Sasuke going down on him and throwing him those looks, like he's vaguely toying with the idea of biting down, and soapy shower sex with either/both of them... okay so pretty much anything he could do with them is number one in his books, but this one is still a little specialer than a lot of the rest.

"I hate you both." His eyes scan Sasuke's body again, less for the sexy and more checking for bleeding this time around. Weird that Sakura hasn't healed any of them. Makes his cock twinge again. He doesn't like hurting Sasuke, not just for the sake of pain, but Sasuke doesn't seem to mind - he kind of seems to love the hell out of it, and oh, seeing him so _marked_.

Sometimes Naruto almost wishes there had been a reason - an excuse - to hook Sasuke up in the seal pipeline system. He doesn't know how much he'd give to see the seal that's stretched out over Sakura's round baby bulge on Sasuke's flat belly, radiating tongues of black fire from hipbone to hipbone and navel almost to the root of his cock.

"... um, Kyuubi wants me to ask how the hell you managed to even get it up again this morning," he mumbles, and reddens at Sakura's quirked eyebrow. "He insisted!"

_/Obviously I didn't ride him hard enough, if he's already running around begging for more,/ _Kyuubi grumbles, though he snatches up the images Naruto shares of the bruises and scratches marking pale skin with greedy mind-claws.

"He'll just have to do better next time," Sasuke replies, and then he stretches his arms overhead like a cat.

Naruto is so not responsible for the way the couch tips and crashes to the floor when he jumps over the back to tackle him.


	30. Naruto&Sakura&Tsunade, on being hokage

_This started out as a ficlet for Ravelqueen, who asked for some foreign dignitaries' reaction to Hokage Naruto in Teamwork, but then it turned out to be a non-foreign dignitary, and pre-Naruto Becomes Hokage to boot. Plus it has pretty much no markers to say it's actually Teamwork-verse. I mean, Sasuke isn't even mentioned, or the kid. It could be any 'verse. In my head it's Teamwork, so... I guess that's good enough._

_Anyway, gen-ish Tsunade-Naruto-Sakura teaming up to verbally bitchslap someone, with maybe some narusaku undertones._

_The next chapter of the main fic is about 75 percent complete. Of course it's the 25 percent left that are being difficult._

* * *

"I have to admit there is something I wondered about," the man says; "Why him instead of ... perhaps, _her_?"

Sakura smiles, the polite kind that leaves her eyes cold. Naruto doesn't bother, just snorts.

Tsunade puts down her tea cup with a tiny, precise clink, rests her hands on her lap in a demure way that's just short of mocking. "My choice of heir seems questionable?"

A long pause, as the man stares at Tsunade and Tsunade stares back. Sakura has allowed her polite, frozen smile to melt away drop by drop and now she just looks smooth and cool. Water. Still and waiting. Naruto's eyes go from his people - Sakura, Tsunade - to the man, and then back and once again.

Then he laughs. "Okay, old man. Shoot."

The man narrows his eyes at him a little bit, like he thinks Naruto isn't taking him seriously. Tsunade sighs, but in an amused, unsurprised way. "I'd be much obliged if you would share your impressions."

"... She's your apprentice."

"Yes."

"She understands your ethics."

"By now, I'd hope so," Tsunade says drolly. Sakura lowers her eyes, demure, and takes a sip of tea.

"Soon she will match you in pure strength and healing techniques."

"Soon she will surpass me," Tsunade corrects calmly. A pause. "Naruto already does."

Naruto opens his mouth to contradict her and then grimaces when he realizes he can't. He still feels a little bad for her, no matter how much preening he wants to do. "Maybe in pure power, but you're canny. All those centuries of experience and _ow_."

Sakura grinds her heel in his toes a last time, and takes another sip of tea.

"... Also I can't do the healy thing anyway."

"Which is hardly a prerequisite for the position," Tsunade counters. "None of the other Hokages could, and they managed just fine."

The man's eyes bounce from one to the other, watching them interact. "But still a good plus to have, as you have proven."

Tsunade doesn't answer that, just makes a little hand gesture to say, yes, noted, your next point now?

"The girl is smarter," the man says, face hard like a challenge thrown.

Naruto gives a mock-wincing laugh. Sakura and Tsunade smile identical, 'you are amusing me, little man, and you will never know why or how' smiles.

"That she is," Naruto says. He's kind of glad it's been thrown in his face so often, how stupid he gets at times, because there was this one time they said it in front of Sakura and she exploded all over the place.

Sakura sniffs at him. "In a logistical and tactical way, certainly..."

"Anyway," Tsunade interrupts. "Are those your main concerns?"

"They'll do as a summary," the man allows. Tsunade gives a brisk nod.

"Alright." She lifts an index finger. "Naruto is stronger than Sakura, physically and with chakra both. Being a high-caliber healer, she is harder to kill than most. Being a demon host, Naruto is nearly invulnerable. She knows more jutsu. The jutsu he does know are more devastating. If I have to bet on one person as a last line of defense for the village, Naruto is a better choice."

Naruto winces at the word 'bet' from Tsunade's lips, but Sakura's heel lifts up in warning, so he grumbles down at his own cup of yucky leaf juice and doesn't say anything.

Tsunade lifts a second finger. "Sakura understands my ethics, but she doesn't share all of them. Naruto..." A pause, a little smile. "Naruto's ethics are an inspiration to mine."

Naruto ruffles his hair and ducks his head, embarrassed. "Not really. Just cause you got your head stuck up your ass that one time _ow Sakura-chan damn it_."

The man arches an eyebrow at the byplay. "One doesn't lead a village with high ideals alone."

"One can sure as hell try," Naruto counters without having to even think twice, and he stares at him right in the eye because like fuck he is going to bend on that. "And I know it can't always happen that way, but the other ways are going to stay last resort."

"But you won't want to even contemplate them," the man retorts. "You will miss opportunities for being biased against them."

"I won't," Sakura replies instead. The man looks at her in surprise, and she smiles, polite and meaningless. "I, after all, have no problem with such methods."

After a moment to digest that, the man says "... That only adds to my point."

"My lack of issue with hard methods would be counterproductive in the long run. I am not running a platform on how dangerous the current political climate is and how much we need to sacrifice and accept harsher laws, so that attitude would be a poor example." Sakura looks at the man, reserved, passionless. "Anyway, Hokage isn't a tactical or logistics post. Hokage is a leadership. What you move isn't troops and supplies, it's _people_. I have an academic grasp on people's reactions and emotions - I can predict them, to some extent. I could figure out ways to manipulate crowd reactions. Naruto _gets_ people, on a visceral level, and what's more, he is good at making them feel understood and _special_, and at inspiring them. He cares about them all, and they can tell."

Naruto fights not to squirm; trying not to blush, now, that's a lost cause. But the man is staring at Sakura so hard, maybe he doesn't notice.

"And you don't?"

She smiles, thin like a blade. "In the abstract, yes. I would fight for any single member of the Leaf. It's my duty, anyone's duty. For Naruto it isn't a duty. He protects them like I would protect my own family. People can feel that. Can _trust _that." She puts her cup down. "Trust and charisma are essential elements to leadership. I don't have them. Naruto does."

"But they can be worked on. And a competent Hokage is better in the long run; does it truly matter if the civilians don't have a personal attachment to the person holding that post? They already have one to the post itself regardless, it'd take a lot of incompetence to change that."

"Sir, I wouldn't be Hokage for all the gold in the Five Countries. Not if it came with a palace and cabin boys and everything else I could ever ask for."

"But you'll be his _advisor_?" He scowls, like she has no idea, like he's maybe a bit insulted. "Do you believe the responsibilities are that much lesser? They might possibly be worse, especially if you're also going to shoulder the tactical side."

"Naruto," she says, and now she sounds serene, and Naruto's throat goes tight, "will be Hokage for Konoha. I will be advisor to the Hokage for Naruto."

There's a nuance between 'Hokage' and Naruto's name that comes clear through to him. He knows what it means. If the Hokage were anyone but him, they'd be shit out of luck. He grins. If he could do it without being totally obvious he'd squeeze her hand. Then he looks at the man, and he grins wider, with more teeth.

Yeah, you just try turning us against each other.

There's a long moment of silence as the man stares hard at them, one after the other, looking for a crack, but they just wait, Tsunade sipping tea and being amused, Sakura all cold and 'yeah, you just bring it on' and Naruto grinning, loose-limbed, because he's got the best grandma-type Hokage right now and he's going to have the best advisor girl _ever_ when it's his turn and nothing that guy says or does can make a dent in that, and if he doesn't understand it that's his own damn fault.

Then the man gives in, though he sighs like he's only humoring them, really, but shyeah right. "Very well. I'll support his nomination."

"Thank you," Tsunade says dryly, to the tune of 'that's nice of you! (I wouldn't have cared if you hadn't, though)'. "Well, that was a nice discussion. Please pass on my regards to your master."

The Daimyo's first advisor snorts and climbs to his feet. He gives them a jaundiced look as he turns to leave - and maybe a slightly less irritated one, slightly more 'I get you' to Sakura. Naruto smiles, because he gets him back now. "Yeah, say hi from me too. I'm glad he's got a guy like you, too." He grins, nudges Sakura-chan with his elbow. "They're really useful, huh - ow!"


	31. House Rule Number 5, 180 words

180 words, bit angsty. I was trying to figure out more house rules to write about, make a little collection of ficlets, but so far no luck. Oh well, they'll come.

* * *

_5. There is to be No Brooding outside of the Brooding Room._

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke looks up from the paperwork spread on his desk and arches an eyebrow in question. Naruto didn't wait to be invited in before he cracked the door open; he's peering in, smiling.

More like grimacing, actually. Sasuke's eyebrow comes down into a (worried) _quizzical_ frown.

"What is it?"

"Can I borrow the room?"

Sasuke spares a quick glance around his office. It's small and cramped and full of overflowing bookcases, and the window is deliberately tiny, to cut down on distractions. Sometimes Sakura needs things in there. Naruto never does. All his important paperwork is at the Tower and he adamantly refuses to bring work home.

Sasuke looks at Naruto again.

When he works at the kitchen table he inevitably gets his things back covered in jam or chocolate splatters or other such children's snack foods. Not to mention the infernal racket, infighting, and demands for attention. "Sure," he says, and gathers his clan paperwork into a pile.

He makes a note to check with the mission board for another team that didn't make it home.


	32. Sakura POV during the fight with Itachi

_For Luvsanime2, who wanted to know what Sakura was thinking during the fight against Itachi and Kisame in Teamwork 3. I needed to get myself back into her mindset so that worked out pretty well. (this chapter is stuck like a motherfucker, I can't give an estimate of when it'll come out. It's really irritating. :sulks: )_

* * *

The sword doesn't get all the way through but she fancies she can feel it anyway, fancies that she knows exactly where it'll come out of Sasuke's lower thorax (through his right lung and liver) and into her chest (right through her fourth and fifth ribs and into her heart) from the way the impact travels through his body, pressed against hers. Her nose is mashed against his collarbone and he's heavier on her than he has ever been in sparring or in bed.

She can see part of Itachi's face over Sasuke's shoulder, one ruby-red eye, black wisps of hair. So familiar and so alien and she can't breathe with how much she hates him, with how much she hates Sasuke for doing this to her, for dying on top of her like this'll make Itachi kill her any less and not be a total waste (she would rather be dead, she would rather be dead, she cannot deal with this.)

Somewhere Naruto screams like a beast (he is losing them both oh god Naruto no) and wild chakra lashes at her and it burns, it burns, and the whole world flips them around. She cannot tell which way is down, she grabs onto Sasuke, she wants to fall back down with him.

Something grabs them in mid-air; she sees torn rocks and turned earth two feet down from her nose (her hands are covered in warm and wet.) She understands nothing.

"Holds on," rasps a voice she doesn't recognize, and a hand finds her shoulder and yanks her back and she screams, fear and fury both, and she throws her elbow back and almost drives Gaara's nose right into his brain. If Sasuke's limp body didn't throw off her aim she might have killed him; he's too exhausted to dodge and his sand armor is too thin, cracked all over.

She shudders and twists fit to break her spine to wrap an arm around Gaara's neck; the other won't let Sasuke go. (The badly fixed bone reminds her it exists; she grits her teeth).

"There. Can't go higher."

She remembers to breathe. She glances down. "Can you dodge at all?"

"No."

She's going to have to parry, if she can (she can't, god, she can't.) Naruto alone down there oh god, but she can't go to him, she can't help, she can only be bait. She doesn't even have anything left to even try fixing Sasuke, all those organs in there that she has no clue what to do with.

Sasuke is still clamped onto her. She can't fight like this. (she can't fight at all she wants to go home where is Kakashi-sensei where are her _parents_ she's too far out of her league, she just wants to curl up and pretend this isn't happening, she wants to let Gaara deal with it _he's_ the freaking Kage isn't he, she wants...) She wants not to have to fight again.

She can't let any of them die here. She starts trying to disentangle herself from Sasuke's arms and their warmth and strength and their not-worth-it protection.


End file.
